Lost and Found
by zoelda24
Summary: AU! Adrien is the main hero of Paris! But a new Villain appears, Lady Bug who works for Hawk Moth.. But things aren't exactly what they seem. Marinette still longs for her long time crush Adrien but a dark secret prevents her from even being happy, and Adrien's new interest in his enemy Lady Bug is bound to get complicated...
1. Chapter 1

"Wait, wait, wait, wait… _You're_ that moth guy?" My leather shoes squeaked on the circular ending of a sentry flag pole that was long forgotten on the roof of an old apartment complex that looked like it came straight out of a DC comic.

"Do I look like a damn moth?" Though it was hesitant, her soft voice pierced the silence that grew the higher up we were from the buzzling traffic below. It was as sweet as it was annoyed. _Must've been my doing._

"Hmm, well you are an insect.. Right?" I straightened from my balanced pouncing position to get a closer look at the dotted villain who struck a very unapproving pose on one of the many beams of the famous Eiffel Tower, the lights of which lit up the curves of the girl making them seem endless. Purring, I gave the girl a wink of desire that could win the hearts of many. "Though, you are one _hell_ of a bug."

"Fuck off."

….

That was the first time I had made any acknowledgement towards the dashing girl in red and black latex. It was deliberate, our meeting, for sure. She had always been blending into the background, hiding in the shadows of the lower parts of Paris while I was fighting the growing numbers of Akuma victims. No matter how many bloody fights I was subjecting myself too, I could always pinpoint her frosty blue gaze from afar. Though she's probably the reason for all my victories, always seeing her in proximity had encouraged me to win the battles thanks to my conceitedness to impress the mystery gal. Her viewing had became almost constant, witnessing every attack move from a distance but today was different. Today she was sloppy.

It was an art student at a local university who got me out of my fifth period class during school, a young man who was tired of being mediocre all of his life finally snapping into a flamboyant, flamingo pink wearing artist who turned everything into a bland surreal piece of his art. The boy wore a thick pair of black squared eyeglasses, the only relatively normal part of his rose feathered victorian blouse with waves of fabric from the cuffs, kind of what you'd expect if he were the main character of the buff pirate lover from your mom's favorite romance novel. His skin tight leather pants that flared at the bottom made me cringe at how high waisted they appeared to be, though I soon reminded myself that my tight black cat costume may not be so different. But anyways, years of constantly battling these guys and pinpointing their weaknesses raised some red, or pink, flags of where the akuma had hidden itself in. Let's just say with a couple of nice puns and a few kickass moves later, I had his glasses in my clawed grasps.

"It's time you get a new prescription." The glass under my boots cracked in a satisfying sound and wave of shards. Shrugging, I groand as the boy lost his scary appearance and shook my head shamefully. "Man, I'm loosin' my touch. Right, M'Lady?" I turned my head towards the black silhouette who peaked her head from the coverage of the seven story building she surveyed on.

The akuma who escaped from the cracked optical lenses floated upwards towards the hidden villain but seemed to of lost it's way, blowing away from the girl's grasp as the villain leaned from the building in attempts to beckon it to her hiding place. With one hand she gripped the edges of the damp bricks as the other grabbed only at air to get the butterfly. It was cute at how her attempted to keep her secrecy made her look like a cat pawing a laser pen. Purring out a soundless laugh, I looked up fondly at the girl. Hell, she may be a villain but she made it worthwhile. Just when it was getting sad at her downplayed attempts and her own frustration was getting in the way, and right when I was about to help the poor chap, the hand that supported her weight slipped on the moss covered surroundings. But thanks to my catlike instincts, I was able to catch the girl from certain death of plummeting to the the earth below. Well, right before she whipped out a giant ass yo-yo and started beating me with it.

…..

"I have the akuma you sent out today." I leaned onto the elevator's door, met only by pitch blackness lit vaguely from the bright golden yellow entry I stood in.

"Another failure?" The disembodied voice responded after a time lapse of silence.

"Afraid so." I opened my folded hands that kept and protected the insect close to my side, my face unreadable with trained skills.

"Did you purify it?" His voice showned as much emotion as my blank face.

"Yes." I sighed heavily, leaning more into the door as my muscles relaxed, releasing the bug from my hand. I watched as the white butterfly made it's way back to it's owner, disappearing as soon as it left the reach the overhead light from the elevator.

"Uhg.. What is that smell, Lady Bug?" A hint of emotion softened his monotone edge.

I bit my lip, recalling the incident...

…..

As soon as I felt his warmth coil around me like snakes, I knew I made a vital mistake. It was my stupidity but that damn butterfly just kept taunting me. And after this hellish day, I just didn't care.

"Get off of me!" I straightened out my yo-yo, skipping the string and going straight to handling the red plastic to bash his head with it. _Shit shit shit shit shit, not good._

"Hey!-OUCH!-Is that, is that a yo-yo?!" He groaned, only tightening his hands that held my shoulders and thighs in the embarrassing princess hold.

I could feel the heat spread through my face as if fire was in my veins and my elevated heart rate fueled it. Pulling his golden hair, I swung my yo-yo like a lasso, casting it to a light post to haul myself from his proximity. _This isn't good. This wasn't suppose to happen._ I heard him groan in pain when I pushed off his chest and face in reckless, hasty actions that turned in an adrenaline charged blur.

Finally getting air and clearing my head I stared down the boy who I was assigned to observe, gripping to the cold steel of what I had just noticed was one of Paris' most popular landmark. He had also recovered, sloppily and clumsily finding a balance on top of a rounded pole. After a couple "close calls" of slipping off either side of his bent legs, he breathed out stored anxiety to face me with nothing but cocky confidence

"That wasn't very nice, especially since I just saved you from an early grave." Sulking, he rubbed the red welting claw marks I had made in the process of my escape. Before making a smart remark, I held my tongue to remind myself of my silence. He took it as a challenge. "Finally got tired of watching behind the screens, huh. Well I don't blame you-" I groaned inwardly and rolled my eyes. He obviously couldn't see it as he continued to ramble on. "I'm like catnip to you people."

"So you're the one making my life a living hell?" He inspected his claws in a higher fashion. "Gotta say, you're not what I expected for the one and only Hawk Moth… I mean not at all. Y'know, I never really got the whole Hawk Moth and the butterfly thing but looking at your outfit, I _really_ can't find any correlation-"

I could literally feel a vein pop with seething anger. Forget miraculous, I wanted this guy taken down for his annoying rambles alone. "I am _not_ Hawk Moth." I spat out under my breath, furrowing my eyebrows as if my patience was a strained balloon of hot air getting too close to a fire. Instantly, I regretted even giving him the attention of stomaching his presence let alone actually talking to him though I think it must've been incoherent mumbles to him. His eyes lit up with interest as well as mischief. _Damn it._

"Oh, you're not? So what are you? The forgotten lackey whose job is to cower in the shadows?" _This narcissistic cat actually thought he could provoke me!_ Scoffing, I shook my head in amazement at this specimen. I knew Hawk Moth wanted him for his miraculous but he definitely didn't seem like a worthy opponent, especially how he barely won against the Akumas. Must've been luck, though I had thought black cats were the unluckiest of them all. He swung his limp tail in a playful gesture which failed to aggravate me..

"Red and black? Oh! I know, you remind me of a Backyardigan… Not that I watch kid shows.. Hmm, is your power perhaps solving friendship problems? Oh, you must have an amazing imagination."

 _What the hell is a Backyardigan?_ The question almost left my lips but he had started talking again, which I was momentarily grateful for.

"Can't say that Hawk Moth can't use someone like you. I mean, I think we all need a splash of color in our lives." Him toxic looking eyes shone through the darkness of the Thursday night like a wild animal, revealing a wink as one eye plunged into the darkness in a flirtatious gesture. "Can you understand me? You're so quiet and I do love a quiet girl but I hope I'm not rambling on like I'm speaking Chinese to you." He huffed, shaking his head in a "what can you do?" gesture. But something inside of me sparked and ignited. I threw my yo-yo to wrap around a broken pipeline sticking out of the building diagonally from the hero, using it to leverage my balance as I shared the small post with the leather cat. We could've danced on the small surface area the pole provided, and it was probably the closest I ever came into contact with a boy. Fighting the blushing heat, I stared into the surprised green eyes of Chat Noir as he scurried to find balance and withhold my challenging stare.

"Wǒ de míngzì shì piáo chóng, díkè." (我的名字是瓢虫，迪克.) My native language flowed out evenly despite my pounding heart. Which only helped my cool image I was fighting to project.

"Wait-" His bewildered expression almost made me fall laughing, the poor guy! I took his stunned opportunity to pull on my yo-yo, willing it to retract with me one the other line. My luck was short lived when I felt a weight grip my ankles, looking down to see the damn guy holding onto my leg for dear life. "I said wait!"

We didn't even get halfway to the other building when we fell, my grip on the yo-yo disrupted by the sudden attack of my opponent. Falling, we landed in an open dumpster that was full to the brim. After pulling off the wet plastic bags from my view, I saw the blond hero inches from my face pawing at an old banana peel from his head that obstructed his eyes. The raunchy smells of whatever this dumpster held fueled my anger and broke the last straw, with the help of the dumbass infront of me. "Are you serious?! You know I thought you were stupid but this is an all time low for you. I thought I saw all your dumbass decisions but this, this!" Gesturing to the decaying foods that we swam in. "I'm sitting in sour milk because of you." I hastily wiped away the food from my lap, after a few clean swipes I looked up to see the spellbound boy who had the skeleton of a fish woven into his hair as well as the plastic circles that weren't cut to protect sea life. "What!?" I screamed when his eye contact was unwavering.

His opened 'o' slowly turned into a wide grin, his pearly whites neon in the low lights of the dark alley. The smile reached his eyes, as he squinted in delight as if a boy in a toy shop. "You are a cute one." Throwing himself forward, his head was closer than ever, studying my face. Fear covered my body in goosebumps, not from this goofball but the consequences I'd face if he had someone found out my identity with his stupid luck. Muttering an apology under my breath, his head tilted in a way that resembled a puppy struggling to understand a command, and it made my heart swoon. "Huh?" He leaned closer with a contorted look.

"I said, I'm sorry." Forcing myself to breath evenly.

"For?"

"This." Finally wiggling my foot from the depths of the trash, I kicked his head back with a satisfying crack as my heel met his chin. It was an instant hit, as he fainted directly at impact. He'd have one hell of a headache but he was safely unconscious.

Standing on the edge of large tin enclosure, I studied the hero whom I was set to watch from afar. His hand was resting on his chest, the one with a big thick band around his clawed finger with a cat's paw print with only two fingers. I inched down to detach it from his limp hand when my own miraculous rang into my ear. I had to deliver the butterfly back before my time ran out. Without a glance back, I pounced into the night feeling the weight of our encounter add guilt to my shoulders as the weight of the trash I carried along fell to the plummeting depths below.

…

"Dude, sick bruise." Nino tapped his chin, indicating the light bruise that created a nice semi circle at the bottom of my chin.

"Thanks." I groaned in return to my bubbly best friend, slamming my locker back into it's place.

"Anytime. Bet your dad freaked when he saw his money maker's face had a boo-boo."

"Uhg. Managed to sneak past him and Natalie. Now I'm just waiting for my doom." We walked in unison to our Algebra class. To distract myself of my impending doom, I more than willing turned my attention to the mystery gal I encountered the night before. "Ah, Nino?"

"What's up?" He looked above his phone to show at least he was semi-interested.

"Any chance you understand Chinese?"

Nino stopped walking, with a dumbfounded look on his tanned face. "No…? What, are they offering Chinese as a language in this school now?"

"No, well I don't know but um, I was thinking of… Learning.. It.. For work! Yes, work." _Nice one Adrien._

"Oh! Well, if you need a tutor I know Marinette is part Chinese. Oh, speak of the devil." Nino pointed with his phone towards the back of a short petite, black haired girl who struggled to place her books at the top part of her locker, that was a good foot higher than her. "Need help there, shorty?"

She looked down at her tip-toes which she expertly balanced on, her face shading into a warm pink color of embarrassment before mumbling a 'no thanks'. A pang of sympathy traveled through my heart, so I decided to help the poor shy girl out. Practically dashing, I found myself by her side, leveraging the two books she struggled to stack ontop of each other and ultimately saving the downfall of them.

"Thanks." She spoke a bit louder, probably because I wasn't mocking her like she initially thought Nino was doing.

"No problem!" My voice sounded genuine but even I could hear the hint of fake preppiness. She eyed me carefully, especially at my yellowing bruise, before gathering her composure and turning to Nino.

"Did you need something?" Her quiet voice shown surprisingly strong and loud. Nino vaguely remembered addressing her to begin with.

"Oh, no… Actually, I was wondering if you spoke Chinese." Nino asked on my behalf.

Marinette puckered her pink lips in suspicious confusion, perhaps wondering if it was part of some cheesy pickup line or joke. "A little?" She finally answered after rolling out her anxiety, relishing in spreading annoyance instead.

"A little, huh." Nino's brown eyes found mine, unsure whether to inform her of my interest in the language. Though it's not much of an interest than finding out what the hell that villain said to me last night before beating me up. Widening my eyes, I silently informed him to not bring any more people in my problems. Nino sucked in his lips, puffing his cheeks in thoughts, shrugging when he had no excused to the suspicious girl. "That's cool."

Her face instantly contorted in disbelief, but it was revealed by a tired sigh. Everyone knew how.. Uh, how to put this in a nice way- How "special" Nino was and how it's better not to invest in his strange personality, in his ways. "Well, um, I have to go to class." She finished lamely, nodding her thanks once again to me, and once to Nino for acknowledgement. Sure she was shy, but was just as kind. "See yeah." She said softly, awkwardly flipping a hand in a small wave.

"Bye, Mari!" I called as she headed her way down the hall, meeting with her best friend Alya before turning into a classroom. Hastily, when she was out of earshot, I shot daggers at my friend. "Really? 'That's cool'?!"

"Hey! I was just trying to help you, why didn't you ask her to tutor you?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"You're acting weird man." Nino shrugged, extending his arm over my head and bending it to his mouth. In a loud whisper, he managed to laugh out "Ohh-hohohooo-Is it a girl!?"

Red flush crept over my cheeks that were stretched in a grim line of disbelief, oh and embarrassment. "Oh my god."

"Dude! I'm the ultimate wingman and the best friend of the one and only Adrien Agreste. You're in good hands, so why don't you tell me about the mystery woman?" He tugged harder, practically dragging me down the hall.

I couldn't help but give into his contagious silliness, joining his barking laughter as we ventured down the hall. While doing so, my reassuring resolution was that I'd find the mystery gal who managed to take down the Chat Noir… No matter how hard it'll be. I had a feeling I'd see her soon.

…..

"Hey! Saw you talking to Adrien!" Her grip was squeezing into my bicep as she couldn't wait to whisk me away along with the good gossip. But it was delayed as her face went into mild shock. "Damn girl! Have you been working out?"

"You know.. The bakery, lifting pans full of bread, kneading dough.. Quite the workout." I laughed awkwardly, happy for the small delay from re-living the embarrassing encounter.

"Anyways," My best friend leaned over her desk to get a good luck at my face I struggled to hide behind my bangs. Her eyebrows lowered in anxious concern. "Hey, you okay? Is everything okay?"

"Oh.. Yeah!" I forced a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. "Just long nights studying, preparing the bakery."

Hazel eyes scanned me with suspension. "I worry about you.. You haven't been yourself lately."

"Really? I feel fine." Forcing an edge to my voice she didn't seem to hear.

"Yeah? Well… Okay." Finally she found her seat and we passed the time in contemplative silence as our science teacher rambled on about radioactive isotopes.

I painfully swallowed a trembling feeling, relieved as it somehow relaxed my muscles I tend to unconsciously tense. Unthreading my hands from each other, the dazzling feeling still remained from when Adrien brushed against me in order to prevent my stack of books from smooshing the tiny me. Just remembering his eyes made my heart jump my chest, but I remembered to discipline myself from thinking that I deserved love, that I deserved to be happy. Slowly tracing the miraculous with my thumb and pointer finger, my mind raced through routines I had given myself, schedules Hawk Moth had given me, in order to control my objectives and unruly feelings. Taking slow breaths that seemed to inflate my confidence, I fixed my eyes at the desk in order to regain control, almost hearing Tikki's encouragement…

Tikki.

My lip quivered slightly at the thought of the demigod who was once so loving and caring. It was enough to break down every wall I created around myself. _I miss you._ It only occurred to me that my eyes were burning when my fingers were numb from repeatedly rubbing my earrings. A sudden pressure dug into my arm that I realized wasn't something that came from my mind, but rather a poke from Alya who slipped a paper in front of me.

 _I love your new earrings, BTW! Could you make a pair for me?_

I turned to my best friend who silently pointed to her ears in eager interests, too stunned to process any thoughts but 'smile and nod.' Shakingly, I answered her ripped note.

 _I'd love to!_

After giving me a thumbs up, I stared back at the board as if I was an empty shell that was programmed to move through somebody else's motions, with a stranger's thoughts, and a nobody's feelings. By the end of the period, my notebook was full and I was smiling brightly before but I knew I felt darker than ever before. Hell, I even looked darker. Like a Lady Bug that was black with red dots.

…..

New AU I thought of while writing Hate and Love. Still haven't caught up on Miraculous but I'll be doing it soon but, I hope you enjoy! More to come as well as updates in (hopefully ALL) of my stories! Yeah, I'm such a procrastinator I am so sorry. BUT UH YEAH.


	2. Chapter 2

Folding my laced fingers, stretching them to the back of my head I recieved satisfying sound of a horrible night of sleeping. It was the ass crack of dawn and these hours were ruthless, but I deemed in that very moment, during that one stretch: I'm ready to stare death in the eyes. Who'd knew death would have the prettiest sapphire irises? My snarled like yawn made my canines crash deep into my bottom lip sending a good wakeup that reminded me of the sad fact I was indeed a black cat who wore tight latex. 16 and at the peak of my apex.

"I think you're early, little lady. I don't see any akuma yet. They're probably sleeping." The foggy dawn began to tear with a rising sun, and it didn't take a scientist to know the only other shadow that didn't have cat ears would be the only other person willing to be awake this early on a weekend, oh and that she'd be the only one willing to climb a 70ft drop. "Hey you're really putting a damper on my morning. Did you miss breakfast?"

Her defeating sigh made the corners of my mouth perk up. Taking a grateful bite of my breakfast bar of chocolate rice crispies I managed to grab on my way out the window, I tempted my stalker more. It was an easy way to pass the time, better than purposely leading an akumatized victim and playing a nice game of tag. Sometimes it was freeze tag but I hadn't encountered a weather sensitive akuma since 8th grade. Just my luck.

"You know what I enjoy doing? Screaming towards the sun at the top of my lungs just to release all of my pent up stress. Especially at 5am. It's become a ritual." I declared heroically, it was the sacrifice I was willing to take to stir the temptress. Almost feeling her silent hopelessness I could hear her tense for the awakening of a lifetime, I bit my bent pointer finger to keep myself from laughing. Not really wanting to wake myself, her, or the akuma up quite yet, I tried a different approach. "You're here to, what, correlate my schedule? Find my dark secrets? Here, I'll give you some words of wisdom I learned from a really hot actor. Make sure you write it down for your leader, alright?"

It was like a scene from some Clint Eastwood movie, the way I propped a leg on the stacked bricks of a closed library's building, chin resting on my closed fist as I peered out to the ever expanding world and rising today. "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyways." I spoke in even words spoken from deep in my throat. Even my ears couldn't deny the small scoff I heard from the hidden pursuer. I slapped my knee, glad to see my dramatic cliches work for once.

"Ha! Gotcha!" My finger pointed accusingly at the area where her soft sounds flown from. "Just couldn't resist my charm, yeah? It's a curse, my fair maiden… And a destiny." _Man really milkin' it._ "Oh I'll have you know I researched what you said to me, and call me crazy but did you call me a duck, Lovebug?"

Another snicker that told me I must've missed the message. And it was a big message. "Ignorance is bliss." I reprimanded. "You know it's really hard to carry on a one way conversation. What if you're not even there and I'm talking to a very noisy pigeon? Well not a pigeon since I'd be sneezing but still. You know?"

"Oh you make it look so easy though." A stern voice came from a different direction, telling me she moved as silently as a shadow. It was a sweet sound that resonated stronger than any villain I had come across before. Instantly, I wanted to hear more.

"I make a lot of things easy, I make getting up at 4am willingly on an off-day look easy but the truth is even a godly superhero like me struggles daily."

"Oh?" She commented lamely.

"Yes, I see you're shocked. I, Chat Noir, struggles like you, like any citizen whether it's walking up a flight of stairs while controlling my respiration to make it seem like it wasn't hard, to controlling my anger around stupid people. I'm indeed, no saint."

"Ah." She barely muzed.

"Damn you're one tough crowd, I can just go straight to the puns-."

"Kitty Cat I think it's time."

"Huh? What time is-" I interjected when Plagg alerted me there was an akuma near by. I heard the mystery girl shuffle to her feet, preparing to move her position as the sole audience member of this one. "Wait!"

"You're pretty eager to get out of patrol duty, aren't you." Her voice as monotone as ever.

"You can't fool me, robot lady, I made you laugh like two times."

"Those weren't laughs, they were sighs of annoyance."

"A laugh, a sigh, a groan, same things." My hand waved dismissively.

"Whatever helps your ego." Did my ears actually trace a little lightness to her voice? Was she actually capable of feelings?! Plagg panged me again urgently and soon I was able to hear the akuma down the street, throwing cars and what not. Great. It was a withered old woman who has been kept awake for days by her noisy apartment complex. This was gonna be a doozy.

"My ego doesn't need help, it works alone." I saluted the direction I last heard her voice bounced from, preparing to dash off the building with speed I didn't have. I finally called up, "Well my Lovebug, til next time." Giving a wink I launched myself into danger from a place that'll commemorate our first conversation without my face getting beaten to the pulp. _Ahh, youth._

… _.._

 _Whose Lovebug?_ I wanted to yell but I thought having him yell the wrong name was going to lead into a very embarrassing outcome so I stomached it and watched the black cat do wonders on an old bat who put everyone to sleep. He had been entertaining me, which was different since he never acknowledged me before so I wasn't going stir crazy by myself. Poking my head up from my kneeling position, I had a front row seat to watching a boy in leather getting beating to the pulp by a sleep deprived grannie. It was amazing. I could literally wipe a tear from my eyes, thinking _man this is sad_. It actually happened a few times.

I didn't understand why this guy seemed so valuable to Hawk Moth. I mean half of the butterflies he sent out were lowkey weaker than some of the stronger enemies he could've made. But here I was. Studying his every move. All of them suck-ier than the last.

Basically pitching myself over the edge with a puffed out lip and spoiled eyes. As much fun as watching a boy get beaten bloody by a gal pushing 90 years, these fights got tiring. The whole "discovering the akumatized item, fighting a little, puns, getting in a tough situation that made it seem like the akuma was winning, more puns, and the hero miraculously rising above it in some ridiculous life learning lesson and beating the hell out of the victim" actually made me like rooting for the bad guys, for once. At least they were different each time, I mean this one it was a witchy looking grandma who still had rollers in her hair with a bright purple beauty mask still on. I felt like a child watching this bizarre and colorful fight, I half expected the woman to start throwing rip-off strawberry and caramel pocket candies at the feline. Uhg, and as entertaining and repetitive these fights were, I could actually feel my ears starting to bleed as the puns drifted up the building from below. There's a reason I climb so high, and not to get a bigger view of my target.

From what I've learned, if there were an autobiography of Chat Noir it wouldn't be full of his fights or his inspirational messages he had for his millions of fans, it'd be full of hundred of pages of puns and narcissistic comments, not forgetting the quotes from famous celebrities that he quoted himself quoting. Yes. That is what I've gathered in the few months I've been monitoring him.

By the time he finally strategized enough to figure out that she wore earplugs that the nasty insect tainted by Hawk Moth, he disintegrated them with his… 'Cat'aclysm, he managed to slip out of my sight which wasn't really a big deal but struck me how my one job of watching him was ostracized in a second. Giving up any shred of secrecy, I full blown scanned the mid afternoon horizon looking for a black smudge against the blooming colors below. "Where'd he go…" I muttered after painfully rubbing my eyes to wake the sleepy side of me up.

"Hmm, did you check the east side? There's a lot of alley ways there." A voice whispered to the side of me. I looked east, unconscious that the voice who spoke wasn't a voice that plagued my mind, which was good in a way that I wasn't going insane but bad that I actually took it's advice.

And don't give me that "it's your conscious speaking" crap because my girly ass does not have an adolescent boy's voice in my head. Though sometimes I wish Morgan Freeman could narrate my life. That'd be one hell of a movie. But anyways, the voice totally bypassed me making me even utter a "oh no I didn't, thanks" to the ghost.

Exactly 4.5 seconds passed before I whipped my head along with a fan kick towards the back of me only to be met with a hand that caught my foot inches from his chiseled face that wore a proud face like he had done the impossible. Hawk Moth didn't know we had already met once before and due to the whole dumpster thing I manage to play if off as performing "no matter what, retrieve and purify the butterfly." And that 'no matter what' included dumpster diving into 30 pounds of unsanitized hell. Now I can't really make the excuse that he hadn't seen me face to face, back then it was dark and hectic but with the akuma beaten and the sun shining directly over us as if his epiphany of actually discovering me was rewarded with a pitied showcase. As if the heavens looked down cooing at the golden boy who could've been born from the sun and said "You did it! And all by yourself too! Aww.." Just when I was about to pop god's precious bundle of joy in the face, he threw my leg the other way making it swing in a circle, my arm which I put most of my strength in throwing only accelerated my spin before I was tripped right in his arms.

He dipped me with a coy smile tainting his baby face. "Caught you by surprise?" The smile he made might've made my heart jump at some nostalgic memory (probably a pitiful puppy or something) but the way he raked his eyes down my body as if imprinting a copy of myself into his brains simply made my stomach churn.

Throwing my back down further in the dip I was able to plant both my hands on the roof's surface and kick both my feet over my head, landing in what was equivalent to a backwards somersault that created a comfortable amount of distance between us that I could keep my eyes on him while also being able to take a couple steps for my fist to meet his face. Which was soon as I was itching to move my cramped-from-sitting body and pump my blood in an anticipated fight.

I'm not that violent but I think I wouldn't be able to handle much of his presences before I wanted to bash both our faces in.

"So this is what the mystery girl looks like, feels like I unlocked a level."

"Only took you half a year." I let the comment slide. Hell he already saw me, not much I can do to prevent talking, and let's be honest; I can't really hold my tongue around him either and I'm already screwed.

"Hey, some people actually spend their time outside having a social life than spending time playing video games, gearing up for these moments." _This lying nerd._ "Anyways, may I ask you something, dollface?"

"You've been talking for me this entire day so go ahead. You must already know my answer." I perked an eyebrow.

"Right. Okay, Lovebug. What's with your outfit? I know I defeated a cupid akuma but hey they looked the part. Now I'm not trying to discriminate but _Chat Noir_ equals a black cat, no? And I'm pretty sure Hawk Moth spends his time buffering his butterfly tie and-"

"You're wasting my time." I snapped.

"Black? With red dots? Don't tell me the lovebug is code for chickenpox or a bedbug."

"Is my outfit really bugging you!?" _Well it bugs me too so._ I gestured to my black skin tight suit, with dark red scattered dots on the torso that was cut off by a black dip in the halter top neck followed by sharp lines creating gloves that looked like they were dunked in blood along with matching boots that gave me 3in to my 5'1 height, coming up to my mid thigh. "My name is not lovebug, by the way."

"Could you please inform me, as I have been a target in your sexual harassment for months and therefore deserves an explanation." He lifted his chin while covering his body as though he was indecent, including his chest.

"Sexual harassment?" My voice was probably as dull as a hammer.

"Staring at me for hours and days without end usually comes with a price, hun."

"Oh my god. Isn't your miraculous running out?"

"Nope, I filled up before surprising you so it'll give us a while to talk about our feelings."

"Instead of talking why don't we express them? Like me expressing my anger and annoyance by throwing you out a window." I ventured.

"Only if I can express my love by kissing you before my inevitable death." He made himself comfortable by leaning against the tower we shared electrical box. "Hey, let's start over from how things were suppose to go." He extended his hand out towards me, which I simply tilted a head and lifted an eyebrow at.

"They call me Chat Noir. And this is Plagg." He waved what looked like a high tech slap stick infront of my face, indicating his demigod as his equipment.

 _Demigod._

"Oh yeah, don't you have one?" He inquired.

Shit, I must've stupidly blurted that outloud. "Err, yeah…" I said softly, using it as a distraction from shaking his hand and giving him what he expects. "Ladybug." As if he solved the puzzle on his own, Mr. Sherlock broke into a huge ass grin that made my skin crawl. His face shot up in questionable interest, his mask creating an arc of interest when he pieced my outfit together. But for some odd reason, he squinted, his eyes glancing up as if pondering his thought bubble above.

"Wait, I heard about you.. I think… Weren't you red with black stripes?" He pointed, his other extended handshake dipping down slightly, forgotten.

"Ue-No. You probably getting it mixed up with your Kwami's memories…" I recoiled, wrapping my arms as it was my low budget special safety blanket. "Besides.. I'm new too all of this." I tipped my chin up with dignity I prayed he didn't see through.

Well it wasn't exactly a lie, I am new to this evil stuff.

Grabbing the line of bait I casted in front of his feline nose, he nodded eagerly. "Always nice to meet an enemy." Awkwardly phrasing it, he lifted his greeting hand once again that lightly shook with wavering pride. To help the poor sap out, I met his hand with mine and gave one crushing squeeze of acknowledgement he probably won't forget.

"The pleasure's mine." I knew the smile I projected was indeed devilish as it was bone chilling, as his goosebumps seemed to travel through his costume, into his touch and through my own, giving me a whiplash of what I've become. Hastily detangling our shaking hands, I nodded once to his miraculous. "You too, Plagg." I could almost feel Tikki say.. Or really it was just my imagination of wanting Tikki to somehow resonate inside me. But it was silent. Deadly, sickening, and soul crushingly silent. "Well, this is my cue to leave." A dark butterfly wavered by my extended hand, leaving trails of it's tainted tides behind it as if it was captured on a camera that left the exposure on for too long.

"Until next time, my dear." His cue also panged desperately. As he turned after a quick wink, into what looked like the dazzling sun coming to pick him up, I slowly looked at my hands that had touched the demigod's miraculous. Disgusted for reasons I chose to shut out entirely, I drifted back opposite from the boy with what looked like radioactive eyes and into the shuddering shadows of the forgotten buildings behind. Sketchy and dramatic, but whatever. It's me now.

…..

It'll get more interesting, but this was kind of an excuse to test out some new writing styles, incorporating more humor and sarcasm. But yeah, it's shorter than the ones I've wrote before but I had a blast envisioning this scene and trying my best to put it into words. They properly met now and Marinette is a downer, shockers. But anywho, tell me how you thought about it! Thanks for reading XOXO! More to come.


	3. Chapter 3

"LadyBug. How are we today?" For the first time in forever his voice wasn't the most bland and monotone thing in the room. I found myself in a wooden chair, facing a blank wall with water stains and growing mold from the long piping painted the same faded dark blue that covered the walls and even the rug. It look vaguely familiar to the small rundown newspaper office or maybe an old police station room to for questioning that'd I seen while binge watching netflix. The hidden video cameras I automatically pinpointed really sold it. A single window casted a long shadow assisted by the setting sun, warming the beaten down chair I've occupied for over twenty minutes before Hawk Moth used the camera's small speakers to address me. How convenient for him.

"Just dandy." I shot a quick smile, my finger irritably on tapping my crossed arms, matching the same movements of my fidgeting feet. Sparingly, I glanced at my watch for the thirtieth time assuming how long it would take him to even get back to me. He had caught me while I was shopping by myself with a tainted butterfly that had no motive. Not even bothering transforming, I found myself in a place that could easily be my resting place if this things hadn't became a regular occurrence, and it's not like it's some big secret.

"Marinette you've been very concerned with the time. Perhaps you have a date?" All humor was replaced with a bone chilling fear that stopped all fidgeting movements. Like a deer who heard her predator's tantalizing "mistake." His voice buzzed back in the deafening room. "Well? Who's the lucky guy?"

"No one." It trailed out like a rushed line in a forgotten song, uncertain and weaker than the rest of it's composition. The way the room seemed to get bigger as I shrank into the chair's arm's made it as if I was face to face with my so called partner, his degrading eyes twinkling like I was his new favorite toy.

"Oh? It's a shame, what with your beauty." His lackluster voice betrayed what normal people would consider a compliment. "But it's to be expected with your 'luck.'" Pity. That was in his voice.

"Huh?" I opened my eyes slightly, still staring the the ground to avoid the camera's faded blue eyes.

"You'd only drag them down into danger, into an endless void of secrets and suppression. You should know this already, or have I not made that clear?" _Tikki. He's talking about Tikki._

"Why am I here?" It was came out louder, bigger than how I felt.

"Don't be so angry, please. We were meant for this pain, this future… But you do have a point." Like a fox his lies slid out so convincingly, I knew they were wrong but I couldn't stop myself from lowering further to his level, to our level. All compassion left his voice in a single sigh. "Chat Noir, he's met you."

Not a question, I noticed. He already knew. And it didn't come from me. "Yes. I'm sorry."

"It's a little too late. But there's nothing we can do. Use it to your advantage, get close and gain his trust."

For the first time my head looked up to meet nothing. "And then?"

Silence. "Whatever you do, know your place. You're evil and that's all that you'll ever be. Is that clear, LadyBug?"

"Yes." I clenched my shoulder bag before I reminded myself with sheer panic of what I've done with callused hands and strength teenage girls shouldn't have. Quickly prying my buckled bag open, I saw my Demigod. Her pale blue eyes unmoving, empty, blinking apathetically at me through the darkness as only a red dot seemed to stick out from the surrounding darkness. Numbing, I lightly zipped back up my purse careful for mistakes, before stroking my miraculous for comfort. "Yes, it is."

"Good girl."

…..

"Nino, it's getting really hard to concentrate with you doing that." I placed the tip of my eraser to the creased lines between my eyebrows.

"Eh-?" He spoked through pursed lips as a bright yellow pencil balanced under his nose. Crossing his eyes in focus he spared a look at me as if I was the one who was putting pencils, and out of nowhere it seems, in every supportable place. The more impossible it seemed the more determined he got, which was admirable as it was stupid.

"I know it's free study, but you can actually, you know, study."

"And miss out on not knowing how many pencils I can stick in and on my face? Not likely."

"Honestly I don't know how you ended up in honor classes, Nino. Why can't you be more like-"

"Marinette!" He sputtered, causing all his hard work to come rolling down, scattering to the floor and even managing to stab into my chocolate brown Sperrys.

Raising an eyebrow while not looking up from the mess he's created from boredom, I had to give him some props. Shrugging towards him, "I was going to go with a guy but it's nice to know you're not gender spe-."

"No! Dude!" He clasped my chin from looking at the robin egg spotted tiles to look at the new girl in a black silk dress that although flared out at the bottom, was flatteringly tight. Paired with a halter neck and a midthigh length, this was definitely not the sweater and colorful pants Marinette. But her sleek shoulder blade long hair that was tied half up above her ears excluding her side bangs, and strikingly ocean blue eyes proved otherwise. She made her way up the stairs of the lecture room, clutching her _Algebra II_ book that was the next class in this shared room. Alya followed at her heels but had noticed Nino's dagger stares and sent a free spirit smile our way. Returning her smile with a wave, and while they were out of proximity to our row of seats, I pinched Nino's arm only to be returned with a boasting grin. "God, I love not having dress codes!"

"You need to chill. Heel, boy." I elbowed.

"But dude-" He turned back eagerly to where the emotionless Marinette taught her friend challenging equations she probably missed, like Nino, by fooling around. I nodded to myself, silently giving her my understanding and sympathy. "She's really changed."

At that, I decided to wholeheartedly listen to Nino. It's true, she's truly changed.. For the better? It's true she traded her vibrant styles for her own sophisticated change of fashion senses that were particularly darker recently, but so had her expressions, her interactions. She didn't stutter so much as she just kept to herself, didn't miss as much school as before but just sat in the back quietly conversing with only a handful of people, including her best friend and Nathan. "Maybe it's because she's dating Nate?"

"They've been going out for like a months, no way she's changed that much that fast." He nodded, satisfied in his logic.

"Well you never know.." I puzzled at the pressure at my calf, looking down half listening to Nino's endless chatter about girls he had no chance with, not with his pencil stacking skills being so weak. I laughed but was cut short at the sight of Plagg's eyes protruding from my bag's front zipper in the darkness, pinching my skin with eager attention. An akuma. To my luck, the bell rang just in time to change classes. Shrugging on my backpack, I punched Nino after giving him an 'serves you right' look when he pleaded for assistance in picking up his mountain of writing utensils. Jogging out the door I noticed I wasn't the only one in a rush. Marinette, clutching her stomach quietly issued an apology and bolted the opposite direction from my escape route, towards the girl's bathroom.

No wonder she was looking so down and reserved. Briefly stopping to whistle at her long distance running and a passing thought on if she was on cross country team or not, I fled to a nearby storage closet to transform, battling the incoming crowds of sleep deprived teens.

…..

"No incognito today?" Chat cat walked to the side of the building I leaned out from, overlooking Paris much like a stereotypical heartbroken poet. Buildings were mixed with typical apartment buildings with little to no space between them, expensive mansions with yards stretching for miles, and modern buildings made up of entirely windows that clashed with the townsy homes. The endless looking buildings plastered with Adrien Agreste's face were probably my favorite. Not because my luckless romance of cringe worthy preteen days lived there but the heights the towers offered you were glorious. It's something about being high up and free falling that one forgets every dark mastermind controlling you.

I chose to shake him off, responding by peering out further from the edge. "Do you have something to say? Like maybe 'this city needs you' or some kind of plot twist?" He basically wagged imagining every kind of marvel movie that played out like that, him being the main star.

"Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?" Straightening my stance I leaned heavily into one hit shotting him a disapproving scowl.

"No, keeps it interesting. Not like you're going to help me by talking." He took my old position totally ignoring my cross arms and pinched face. "So…" He said meekly, suddenly shy.

"Oh my god," Was he seriously acting like some little school girl. "What are you doing? Don't tell me you're going to confess your love to me, stop acting so shy." Disgusted I hugged my shoulders in attempts to calm down my goosebumps.

His laughs came out rolling, deep and free. "Sorry darling, I don't see you that way. And if I did I would've written a letter, I'm too shy to ever confess in person. I was just going to say if felt good to have someone to talk to during these heroic times."

"Heroic times? Oh you mean doing nothing and posing for hidden cameras."

"Righto." He snapped his fingers into a gun which pointed at me. Despite myself, the corners of my mouth lifted giving him a grateful break from my sarcasm.

"Alright." I cut him off as he was about to probably say something catty after his bewildering stare at my one act of humanity. It was about time he got his ass kick. "Good luck, kitty chat."

"Wait that smile was-" My leg was already swinging, catching him off guard as it contacted with the his backside. With my strength and execution, he sailed right off the roof plummeting down to the streets below with toe-curling acceleration. He'll be fine, probably…

…

"You know what, I was going to compliment that smile!" A sickening crack came from the Akuma's back from my wielding baton. Today it was a cat lady, whom after giving up love after a horrible date vowed to turn every man into a cat because I guess those are easy to keep locked into your house and somewhat in your heart. And let's just say she was treating me like I was her catnip, the ideal date for her. Part cat part human. She probably thought I could understand the lonely nights of eating Ben & Jerry's from the container and watching Marvel movies eyeing and ogling over Robert Downey Jr. and shipping the characters-Uh, Not-That I do that, of course. But anyways, this cougar looked like it was going to be easy with her "I Love Cats" pin sticking out of her black cat fur robe that seemed to ooze with cat's, dripping with taunting meows that even had me fighting back a response. Ducking and rolling from flying feline claws, I was busy enjoying a one way conversation with Plagg and eyeing the mischievous bug. Her smile was now much more wicked than the genuine and pure one I saw before, dark and forced. "But no. And why is it that I'm always falling off buildings?"

"Come Little Kitty! Be my precious!" The lady's slurs came into tune, her nails extending into ones that resembled my own. Great. "You're different from the rest! I'll let you live if you come to me!"

"Sorry, I'm an outdoor cat.." I lazily pointed at the peering eyes from my furry cousins that were stuffed into her robe. Hearing a snicker from up above, I was too distracted to feel the tearing and rippling pain course through my chest. Hissing, I channeled my inner Gabby Douglas to flashingly escape my way from all cat's living hell, landing on a nearby balcony. But the impact when my boots hit the tiled flooring was too much, as it shook my bones that were now aching much like how your body feels when you have the flu. Flinching at every movement, I grew tired and out of breath from the stinging blanket of pain. Struggling to see through squinted eyes, I kneeled in an attempt to cushion my blow, stop the pain from straightening up, and most of all avoid the black empress of lonliness. "Fuck-."

Three slashes marked my chest, traveling from the top to my ribs to the soft skin above my belly button. They were clean which would make it easy for cleaning up and stitching together, but it also mean it would bleed excessively throughout the injury, not just one place where her claws sank further than the rest. If it wasn't me who was made the test dummy, I would've admired her clean precision that I had to train relentlessly to gain on my own. The blackness that was slowly engulfing my vision along with every heartbeat made me strain and almost pitch over with an upset stomach, as I fought to get up from my sinking knees while also trying to gain balance from slipping on my own blood. Right when Plagg had began talking to me through our miraculous connection, I could hear the division of air getting sliced through by something very fast and vicious. It could've only be the akuma victim of course, no one here was as evil-.

A shimmering light of blood red and black flashed before me, landing on top of the approaching victim with a powering kick to the chest. The impact must've been directed at the cat lady's pin as her cape of purring lumps dissolved into a few, overly fed hairballs. Getting my breath, I slowly stood to see Ladybug crushing her heel into the chest of the now normal akumatized victim, totally bypassing the flying butterfly. Still disoriented, the poor woman simply squirmed, groaning out her confusion while LadyBug's eyes were blank and fixated on something that wasn't there, right on the girl that her foot had found and was knocking all of her air out of her lungs. Even when she was pleading for help, LadyBug only clenched her fists more, deaf to the cries of others.

A thought struck me, right then and there, along with a bone chilling drift, even the fresh blood the now stained my costume felt cold.

She's a villain. _She had always been a villain._

Going into a trance of pure adrenaline, my shoulder crashed into the overpowering superhero, sending her sailing into the pavements, tumbling into multiple flips before miraculously landing on her feet. Even I struggled to get up, holding my damp costume to my chest as LadyBug had began to get her air and composure. Spitting out a mouth filling with blood, she glared at me with pale irises of blue, slipping her yo-yo out in a jeering manner. She was obviously not happy that her costume and skin laid on the road in skidmarks, fueling her churning wrath.

"What the hell was that about?" Attacking verbally after physically wasn't the best play but she was reckless, no care for the consequences of her own pain and other's.

"Doing your job, it seems." Hollow. She sounded hollow, a casket of bottled heat and adrenaline.

"Crushing someone's ribs isn't in my job description." I spat out in return, only to have my body fight back at my jerking motion.

"Really? Guess it's just in mine." Planting a leg in front of her other, she was ready to pounce like a spring in her power stance.

I stood in horror, to my own disbelief. She was evil but her black butterfly hologram that overlaid her physical mask told me to think otherwise. Like she was a victim herself..

But regardless, with helping up the akuma victim and dividing the lines between us and the growing bystanders, she was dangerous. She had even attacked… Her own? She flinched slightly, touching her temple with unsettled rage she simply snarled at what seemed like to be an invisible voice.

"I'm a little busy." She spoke quietly through clenched teeth. The voice obviously disagreed as her body seemed to ripple in restricted tension. While she was distracted, I returned her imitating posture and pose. But that was soon to of relaxed through a single, and loud, stream of air as she sighed out her muscles aching for a fight. Wiping off an oncoming nose bleed, she peered over her shoulder to the idle butterfly soundlessly flying by her side. She snapped her yo-yo around the insect creating it's prison. She left just like that, using the same weapon to propel herself away from the circle of cats, blood, and cameras.

"Fuck.." I winced, now remembering the chills of my wetsuit and the ringing of my miraculous. After extending a hand towards the terror stricken victim, I carefully limped my way from the pushy interviewers who seemed to understand that my lightheadedness was worth letting me go with little fight.

That night, I collapsed, having Plagg help treat my wounds with numerous of first aid kits I've collected over time to avoid little suspicion. I was glad for my connection to the beauty industry, providing me with the best care and anti scarring creams but none of them could completely hide what I've sacrificed, not that I minded a few knicks here and there that would be blurred out in Photoshop but... I couldn't help but to stare at my most recent battle "reward." Distinctly I could remember every interaction, every facial expression from the villain feeling strangely melancholy. There's just... Something so familiar, so heart aching that sent heat into my throat causing it the swell as if I was choking on truth that refused to come up.

…

A rag was in my mouth, preventing me from chipping a tooth, or perhaps biting off my tongue as well as keeping from wakening my parents as I had applied what seemed to be skin-melting iodine. No matter how many times I've seeked to my own wounds, the pain will always be fresh, forgotten and then relived. It was my fault for not doing my job. Not letting Chat prove his own worth to Hawk Moth.

But why? Why did I even move? Even act?

It was something.. Perhaps seeing him go down, maroon raindrops beat down on the white sidewalks that made me act. Feeling the pain that he'd be feeling. The anger that seemed to blind me, transporting me into what seemed to be an outer body experience.

It was a mistake.

Limply, I put down the light pink stained wash cloth and curled up in my bathtub, wearing only my equally stained underwear before letting the cold water wash away the forming beads of blood. It would help down the groans I heard on repeat in my head of the lonely aluminized victim I had probably given multiple contusions to, possibly even broken bones.

It'll help wash Chat's beckoning challenging and disbelieving face.

"What did he expect?... Since the beginning, he's known who I am.. So don't…" I absentmindedly stroke the small forming bruise on my left side where he had projected himself in to with my face buried into the wet crevice of my arm. "Look so betrayed…"

…

I don't even know. Thanks for reading, waiting and reviewing!

...

Okay sorry, I know it's been ages since an update. I actually wrote over 50 pages for this story but decided to scrap it, and then rewrote it and then decided the original direction I wanted to go was better, and then I scrapped that one as well. So here you are, a handful of chapter for this! Promise promise PROMISE I'll work on Hate and Love. It's been hard since this was kind of the direction I wanted to go in with that story but decided it would be better as an entirely new one... So I have a lot to work on with Hate and Love. And let me tell you guys this as well, I'm still not caught up with the show. I know it's probably stupid to say, like "um if you don't watch the show how are you writing fanfic for it?" But I do and I love it so much! I just procrastinate especially when it's watching stuff. This is one of the few shows I actually love watching as oppose to reading for most of my entertainment. I'm so weird omg I'm so sorry. But yeah, and to get this straight; This is an AU... So like, yeah it's going to be different from the show... Don't act too surprised lol. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you love this as much as I do. As always, I apologize for spelling and my shitty writing styles. Still trying to improve. Bye! -Hannah


	4. Chapter 4

"Marinette, I missed you yesterday. How was the… What was it, eye doctors?" Alya grabbed the dark green sleeve of my sweater. The pain coiled around me like a constricting snake. Keeping the sleeve tucked in my palm from lifting with her frictioning grip, my bandages that wrapped my waist and shoulder along with the right side of my arm which I skidded on paved cement were safely covered.

"Eh-" Coughing the shaking pain from my small squeaks, "It's-It went fine. Sorry you had to take my notes."

"No problemo chica," She hipped bumped me as we strode towards the small courtyard that joined the math and history buildings. It was lunch time and we enjoyed our signature seldom place underneath the gazebo, surrounded by flourishing shrubs and bushes along with a picnic blanket I designed and kept hidden in a forgotten time capsule behind a giant rock we'd lean against. But the limited space which usually held a sparingly amount of quiet loners were bustling with high pitched flirtatious laughs and Nino's bellowing laughs. "Oh great." Her shoulders heaved annoyance, her eyes dead with boredom.

Heads of all different colors tacked on to bodies in short skirts blocked our path to a sunny and contempt afternoon. One person, I recognized instantly among the cheap strawberry shampoo smelling fumes and flirtatious laughter, was indeed Adrien. He was truly the belle of ball, shimmering with the power I'm quite certain is the blood and tears of his fans that probably pray to tacted posters of him on their walls... (Sadly, I know it too well.) His yellow hair was untamed, which was surprising for the young duke of our school, face flushed with embarrassment mixed with the heated temperatures of girls who will probably never know the phrase "personal space," and his arm was in a sling which got it's own set of direct attention from coeing adolescents. And Nino, well he was still Nino trying to get the attention of outliers from the group and offering his mix tapes and I only found that out once I was blindly dragged by Alya to infiltrate their clan. I stood with my mouth ajar, thankful Alya who was a veteran for my lost and obsessive love and decided to take control and lead us in.

"Finally broke your arm by slipping l on the drule of your fans, Adrien?" Alya joked, shooting the huddling group of disapproving girls a sly smile, as Nino hastily pried his way through to join the taunting pair. To this day I will forever admire Alya's ability to befriend and fit into any sort of scene of friendship or godly-hotness named Adrien Agreste, which i think the other girls would agree with me but in a more hostile-irritated way. Like always, I stood right behind the shoulder of Alya, my face a line of muted concern.

"Nope," He chuckled and I cursed when my heart leapt. "Well, I did fall but it's not anything broken and it's not because of my darling fans." This time, he had given his audience a less teasing smile.

Nino lazily swung his arm around his best friend, deaf to Adrien's hiss of pain. "His dad is forcing our little man to wear the sling for like a month to make sure his money maker doesn't get ruined."

"Thanks Nino, really helps." Surprisingly, the atmosphere turned a rigidly cold temperature and Nino was the first to be blasted with it. Somehow I knew his sudden venomous vibe and without a life changing pause I opened my mouth. Very loud and monotone I might add, helping to my bland personality.

"Adrien, would you like to have lunch with Alya and me, over there-"

"Alone." Alya half listening added, still staring death threats to the vicious girls who'd probably give us payback later. Even to Nino who was cowering away from his mistake.

I don't think I've ever seen such arched eyebrows, the way his eyes could've popped right out making me more self conscious. And then he grinned. Oh god, his smile that no matter how much I try to get over him, things like these always drew me back. "Sound great. Where to?"

I didn't answer, practically getting whiplash as I drew my attention to stare absently at the ground shying away like always. Alya sighed, people like me probably set her off more than the girls who planted themselves an earshot away ready to collect any collateral damage like vultures. "Over there," Alya point with one hand and squeezed my bruised one with her other. I could've died if i bit my tongue any harder than i did, the swelling that took up half my mouth aided me in keeping silent and muffling signs of injuries that I was thankful no one seemed to hear.

Oddly, Adrien turned his attention from our destination to me, or I think. To distract him and I from seeing any signs of my pain, I brought my nails to my mouth careful to detangle my view from his but that wasn't before I caught glimpse of an almost sympathetic look.

We sat together in an awkward heap, I designating a seat closest between a shrub and Alya to rid any chances of getting seated next to Adrien, or Nino for that manor. They both gave off a feeling they were up to something, especially when the whole thing about speaking Chinese. To my luck, my seating arrangement worked but then to my horror, finding it would be even more awkward as he sat directly in front of me, free to give me all sorts of glances as he'd like. Gratefully, he and Nino went into a directed conversation with Alya while I started opening my ladybug pattern lunchbox I had made after a certain inspiration intruded into my once normal life. I would've left it, buried it in my overflowing closet along with other depressing memories, but I couldn't get rid of this bag that I had made wth Tikki's help, personalizing a secret and comfortable compartment for Tikki's own needs. But now, I used it to stuff bakery rejects to give to Alya who ate easily more than half she weighed without a single downside. Lucky bastard.

"Thanks for saving me back there." Adrien had directed it towards Alya, pulling the plastic of his concealed sandwich.

"Don't mention it, but it was thanks to Marinette's quick thinking." Alya gave me a shove with her shoulder, which I repayed by biting my lip in an awkward smile which doubled as me trying to not to scream in the sudden agony. The pain seemed to pulse, making my hands slippery with sweat as an aftermath. I simply smiled, before going back to pulling out Alya's portion of the lunch. "Woah, sweeeet! Man, I love Sabine."

Shrugging, I handed her a container of macaroons of all different pastel colors. "They may be a little stale-" I glanced up, thinking my shrill voice that sounded like nails on a chalk board made one of their ears bleed, but they were in deep awe looking at my packs of lunch. Adrien, smiling with hints of jealousy, had scoped the selection. Thinking he was going to ask if there was more tasty food in my lunch box, he gave me a puzzling expression which quickly turned to amazement.

"That's a lovely lunch box, Marinette."

Nodding, I gave another shy smile. God, was I really not capable of carrying on a conversation? Alya saved me once again. Secretly, I think she loves centering things around herself, which I had no complaints of whatsoever. "Made by yours truly, I presume." I gave her a nod, her way of praising me was flattering but also terrifying at how she broadcasted me towards them, which went against my whole being of safely being away from others and attention. Alya started stuffing her face with our shared lunch, pausing a conversation with the toy boys who stared in equal envy. The food selection was great despite they were mostly the rejects or day old products that I shoved into a small space. Alya and I were content with it, we were both too broke to complain. But people like them, Adrien especially, last thing I wanted was to give him more unpleasant memories of me. Not like he had a lot, mostly just me not being able to conjure up completed sentences and choking on my own tongue while having an ordinary conversation, but I really didn't want so many people having such memories.. More connections, rather, with me. I felt like I was a flickering light bulb, slowly losing it's brightness in a room of blazing light sources. I didn't need the attention especially if my life was getting more secretive, and this was a horrible decision of having lunch with these two. Alya seemed to of pinpointed their expressions with a full mouth, tipping over a plastic container of scones towards them. "Want some?"

"Oh hell ye-" Nino's hot hands were slapped by Adrien who looked like the mother of a restless child she's always reminding manors to.

"Nino, it's Marinette's lunch…"

"It's fine." I piped up, pushing some of the platters of food I was originally going to eat away from me. Suddenly, I didn't want to eat. I wanted to sleep. To cry. To do something to erase this feeling in my ribcage that I didn't know nor wanted to feel any longer. "I'm not hungry. Help yourself."

Nino gave Adrien a pointed look but Adrien refused to relent, now holding Nino's hand midair. "Really? I'd feel really bad if-"

"No, it's fine. Really. I'm actually going…" Sharing a look with Alya and then the rest I came up with an excuse to escape their eyes. All the eyes. His green, their browns, and the crowd of forming spectators who I could literally feel their loathing. I needed out. "To see Nate."

Nino now smacked Adrien's hand and proceeded to help Alya finish it all. Adrien narrowed his eyes but chose to give up. Free, finally. I turned to walk back, trusting Alya to clean up my lunch for me. My sides ached, my entire body ached. I was tired, and I was thinking too much. I was a fool to think I could act normal, it always ended in a downward slope. Shoving my way through the line of girls, biting my lips bloody as their purposely poised elbows and bodies sent shock waves of pain through my injured self. Chloe Burgeois even grabbed a lock of my hair before throwing me against a wall with vicious intentions. Her lips were curled in a snarl, ready to bite like a viper.

"Don't think we don't know what you're trying to do." Her group of so called friends and very obsessed Adrien fans fanned around us blocking anything that could essentially destroy her goodie two-shoe looks.

Hissing out the pain, I looked at her through one eye that wasn't scrunching in pain. "What?"

"Your slutty outfits, your attempts to look aloof and interesting for others to notice you, yeah we've noticed it, and it's pathetic." She spit on her emphasized "pah." God, how long did it take for her to convince everyone and herself of my behavior? Her fake nails continued to sink their way into my shoulder and into my bandages. Fresh wounds, only a week old. Fury started to fill my short body, and only one thing seemed to of calmed it. Imagining Chloe's face, bloody and bruised.

How much it would take to just give her a black eye.. A broken tooth, not even my full strength would be needed. If only there wasn't such a big crowd. These situations were always better without public eye, like Hawk Moth always said-

Wait. What?

Chloe was still gibbering on about whatever she came up with to calm her insecurities. I was too busy… Focusing my energy on actually trying not to hurt her. Hurting her bad. Absently I grabbed at my throat, which was heaving for air that seemed to be lacking. Chloe's voice came into focus, hesitatingly she asked. "Are you going to puke? Nasty."

"Le-Let go."

Chloe perked a perfectly groomed eyebrow. "Scared? No, we're not done-"

"Now." My eyes came to look under heavy eyelids, dropping in concentration. I shouldn't be having these thoughts. I shouldn't.

"N-No!" She stuttered, regaining her composure after a quick glance to her back up. Yes, there was a lot and I wasn't in a great condition. But they would all be too weak… How easy it would be just take my fist and-

"Let go!" I screamed, thankful that the distance I put between me and the others was great enough for them not to of heard. Or I hoped, at least. Chloe wasn't as dumb as to of done her bullying so close to a respectable nice crush like Adrien. She had backed up, not expecting the sudden out burst of the famously reserved and quiet Marinette Dupain-Cheng. But she simply returned her gesture by getting closer to my face and wrapping her hand more entangled in my now stretched, white-button up.

"You freak!" Some of her spit had landed near my eye. Gross. A chord had finally snapped after so much stress on a side of it, and my fist was now about to collide with the blond's face. She screamed in fear, turning a cheek as her grip loosened. Slowly opening up her similar blue eyes, she saw my scratched knuckles inches from her face with controlled precision.

"Let. Go." I said one more time, the third time's a charm. She shoved me off her, or rather herself off of me. Her fear rolled off her in great waves that hit me right before anger. I wasted no time shoving past her and her army of chicks who lost most of their composure to "handle" me much like the trembling Chloe.

Good. I liked having that power. A lot.

….

"Plagg, tell me, did you know LadyBug?" I spun around in my chair, procrastinating plenty of written assignments that had collected everytime I had a modeling thing or was out protecting the city. I didn't want to do them then and I sure as hell don't want to do it now. Especially with my aching muscles that refused to stop screaming.

"Huh? I don't get it, is she dead or something? Why are you writing her off like she died." The black kwami was laying on a Chat Noir inspired pillow, reading the new issue of L'Officiel and shoveling chunks of cheese into his mouth. When I turned my chair to repeat my newly rephrased question, he continued. "And to answer that, yes I know her. I know her in many ways."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I repositioned myself into the Lotus position, awaiting more of my unasked questions to be answered. Though, Plagg feigned ignorance and continued to mumble, proceeding to finish his reading. Sighing, I leaned forward on my computer chair. "In what ways?"

"Uhm," He turned another page, squinting at the smaller writing before continuing half heartedly. "Like her past lives I guess."

"You remember those?"

"I'll never forget them." His voice was uncharacteristically cold, which foretold me to drop it. For now at least.

"Okay… But did you.. Like, was she always evil?"

"Define always. Like has the Ladybug now always been evil or has she been evil every new generation? Because some Ladybugs and even Chats had always tipped between good and evil, I guess this is one of those times. But…" He trailed off while mumbling even louder of a written part devoted to the sighting of Ladybug for the first time.

"But?" Tapping my leg has always been one, a pet peeve of mine, and two, my worse quality. To me, at least. My leg shook up and down from underneath my other obnoxiously as I tapped my finger waiting for him to pay attention to me. Okay, yes, I know what it feels like to be Plagg whenever I played his role and he was dying for attention. Karma, I get it, but like Plagg that didn't mean I wasn't going to sit there and take it. "Plagg!"

"Uhg!" He slammed the magazine shut. "You know, it's not like you to be so invested in something other than your work as a model, much less a mere girl."

"She's my enemy." But then I thought better of it, correcting myself. " _Our_ enemy."

Plagg simply snorted as he floated his way by my side, making me turn in my spinning chair to follow him back to face my desk, which he sat on content with the attention. "Yeah so is Hawk Moth but you never seem to care this much about him, not even his past lives."

"Okay, Hawk Moth is a middle aged balding man. Evil. Likes butterflies. Not much we can say. But we can continue to talk about him if you'd like. Like, one time I fantasized him and me swimming-"

Plagg put up a hand, looking pale and sick. "Keep those fantasies in your dreams, okay buddy?"

"Then tell me more about her or else I will bombard you with these confused feelings." Wasn't the best resort, especially for my pride but whatever.

"Fine, fine. No, she wasn't always evil. I thought she was akumatized, but that's not the case. She's willing to do his dirty work."

"How-How do you know this?" Tilting my head as if I was truly a cat, trying to understand an exasperated owner's command.

"Her demigod. We all have one, and let's just say last time I heard from her she was as heroic, nice, and as good as me." Despite myself, I snorted which was returned with a devilish glare. I tossed my hands up innocently, venturing him to continue. "Either something happened to make them evil, or they both agreed with Hawk Moth's views. It's not unheard of, but it sure as hell won't make our lives easier, huh."

No kidding, I thought when I remembered her sudden outbreak against the cat lady and I. "How long ago was that?" I approached, rubbing heat into my sore muscles of my shoulders.

"When I lost contact? Dunno, less than a year ago. But Adrien, that still doesn't change the fact of how dangerous she is. Don't forget who she is, what she is working towards."

Placing an elbow on my desk to support my head I layed it on, I took several deep breaths to concentrate while also trying to relax my jumbled thoughts and feelings. "Plagg, when you said you knew some LadyBugs' who weren't good, did they ever change?"

"... No, or at least not before it was too late." His voice sounded foreign like he was speaking from another time period that had just reached my ears.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I closed my eyes to listen to the soft vibration and buzzing sounds that my old lamp created. "Have you seen them attack one of their own before?"

A heartbeat passed before he spoke, I had already been dreading the worst, hoping what seemed to be impossible. My eyes seemed to bulge open right before he even spoke, like his words had hit me mentally before physically.

"No, Adrien. I don't think I have."

….

Another chapter, thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

_I loved and I loved and I lost you. I loved and I loved and I lost you. I loved and I loved and I lost you. And it hurts like hell._

The scene was dingy and monochrome, not at all like the sleek and redesigned train interiors that I could practically splash my face with it's A4DEE colors for a cold awakening. But just identifying in color codes that I'd pick for my next design that I had absolutely no physical motivation to create couldn't stop me from falling victim to their nostalgic effects.

Silence was sickening, it kept my mind racing and thinking the worse, but so did listening to extremely depressing music that was way too repetitive. Then again I don't think listening to things like _Call Me Maybe_ or _Downtown_ could offer me the solution I wanted. If I was going to be a downer might as well be a big Debbie Downer and wallow in this suffocating cart full of suicidal business man, homeless old women, and pained runaways taking on the world. I sat in front of an older man, already balding and sporting multiple chins. His sweat added a glossing coat to his grey skin and pit stained business suit. Tucking a phone with stubby fingers to his small ear, he stroked a faded handkerchief as he stammered apologies to what seemed to be his significant other through the phone. Despite my sympathy to the man who reminded me of my own father when he clams up, I paused playing Fleurie and resumed my guilty consciences of eavesdropping.

"Please-Hunny, I _know_ but trust me it'll get.." A quick glance around and a fleeting eye contact with me was enough for him to redden with embarrassment, lowering his voice in a futile effort.

" _Don't do this to me Maureen."_ The phone which usually responded in high pitched ambient remained silent. He took it as encouragement as he hastily resumed with what I inferenced as empty promises. Or at least, once were until this poor man saw his happiness fleeting. "Please I can change, I'll make it work. I'll find another job-Please, it'll be different this time."

His smile was heartwarming, so much I clutched my shoulder strap and navy travel jacket. When the door opened and I heard the laughter of the teens filling up from either doors, the atmosphere skyrocketing with a hostility towards the irksome crowd. It was harder to breathe then, without the humidity and idol bodies, but it felt different as the distilled atmosphere full of emotion was now full of forms that were made of inflicted self pity that crashed with the new groups and their carefree attitudes towards life. Instantly, I tilted my black hoodie over my head, pretending that I was blasting Birdy, using my music as cover as well as preventing any interaction between people who may know me. The crowd filled the view of my curiosity, brightening it with colorful attire and language. But he still sat there, emitting tangy sorrow like it was body heat. Everything seemed to die out around me, even the boy who attempted in playing footsie with me, sitting uncomfortably close. Right then I was thankful for how times like these I could feel my body disconnect with reality. It helped, a lot, especially in occasions like these.

"Maureen- You're All I have. You're my _family._ " He pleaded to the silent black square.

But then two syllables responded, quick and stirn or enough that I could hear from the conversation despite all the teenager's rebelious racket. I strained further, pretending to tie my red slip on shoes, completely forgetting that they didn't even have shoe laces, while removing both of my muted Apple headphones.

The phone buzzed out three words, it seemed like. And I was right. The phone lit up by his ear, showing his wife's name and it's disabled and grey buttons showing it was as disconnected as I was to my surroundings.

"I love you too.." The voice quivered, shooting arrows of shame and pity into my. Sobbing silently, he pressed his thumb and pointer to his wet eyes before heaving into his knees and hands. As if sensing the difference, the admittance of weakness and vulnerabilities, some of the kids took notice of him, and laughed at the elder man. While he was in the most miserable pit of his life. And that snapped inside me.

He lost someone so important, he's tried so hard, and he's just trying to be good.

He's _trying_ to be good.

I was on my feet, knocking a couple of blurred bimbos from my sight, opening my mouth to fight the now targeted group of teen boys twice my small size, badgering the crying man. One blond, followed by two girls with the highest pony tails and even higher noses, the other a shorter tan boy who was attempting in lifting the shamed man's head. All wearing the same entitling private school outfits fitted with their superior attitude, probably only taking the train for the thrill of it. A hand was on one of them, one girl called the blond one Kyle, intoxicated with giggles like they couldn't believe him, while their simple flirtatious gestures of hands on the boy's shoulders and amusement simply irked the boys more. Barely getting up from stumbling on the surplus of feet, I practically tripped to get right in front of their faces, the old man cowering even lower as he expected more ridicule.

Untangling my arms from the bustling crowds, I aimed my hand directly towards Kyle whom kept poking at the old man, even scuffing his shoes. But then Kyle jerked back, a force driving him from the field of depression the man seemed to emit. Was my hand really that fast? Why couldn't I feel the guy's uniform fabric? Was I really this angry to bypass any other sort of emotion or feeling?

At first, it didn't connect. Why was there in Adrien Agreste poster floating, right infront of me? And why the hell was Kyle apart of it? Why couldn't I feel anything?

Oh, wait. It wasn't my hand at all. _Oh. That's not a poster._

"I heavily suggest you move away from that man." Adrien's cool voice seemed to freeze the interior despite all the sweaty bodies in the enclosed space. Kyle and his other accomplish were starstruck-Or maybe it was the now silent and disapproving girls who now "magically" had a change of opinion of their two male friends, and nodded eagerly with Adrien.

Adrien.

Here I, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, looking like a dirty mugger with a clenched fist ready to swing, was beaten by my ex-crush who stood in front of a window full of mixing and blurred colors from the speeding surroundings like it's his new modeling ad.

Adrien _fucking_ Agreste.

His snarl seemed to slide down, taking the chance to eye me sideways, making me question if I had said that last sentence out loud accidently.

….

"It's still a little too early for hot chocolate, but is it okay?" Marinette seemed to sink in her seat across from me, introverted from her surrounding as her hands, even knees, pinned close to her sides. Shyly, she nodded and gave a stiff thin line smile like she was left alone with unfamiliar adult by herself.

"Thank you, umm.. The money.." The little timid creature scrambled with the many pockets of her jacket, tight light wash jeans, and black sweat shirt. Rushing to save her from whatever expectation she had of me, like I'd really want the change back for a three dollar drink from a cute girl…

Yikes, okay yeah, I see why some think I'm a flirt.

"No, no it's totally fine.-"

"No, please let me.."

"It's my pleasure, Mari." I grinned when I unknowingly placed my hand on her's that clutched a stray dollar and random coins she seemed to of gotten out of the abyss. She looked like a deer in headlights, and quickly nodded her condolences once again. The small coffee shop was surrounded by all kinds of faces of awkward love, making me take a double check at own situation that others may misinterpret, in which I think she caught onto first from the couples sucking face a few tables away from us. Trying to aid the mood, I cleared my throat before asking her the one question on my mind. "Hey, is everything alright?"

Blowing on her drink, she watched me with careful eyes. Her lips were pursed, innocently trying to prevent her drink from scalding her mouth and one thin eyebrow perked right up, leaving one along with its designated eye squinting. My mouth curved into a freakishly high smile, etched with amusement for her strange faces. Leave it to Marinette to never fail to entertain me with her behaviors. After locking her eyes with mine for a split second, she scaled them down to the dark granite table we shared, before looking up again beneath her eyelashes with uncertainty.

"Yes.." She drew the syllable longer, as if it was the wrong answer. "Um, yeah, I am. Are you?"

Chuckling, I felt an eyebrow perk up just like hers. "I'm perfect, but uh, I wasn't the one who missed school.. Or on a bus that doesn't even pick up students from our school."

Pushing out her bottom lip, carefully considering what I've said as if she was suppose to match them, she once again looked at me with cautious stiffness. "Huh? You were on the bus… Though…." The blue irises seemed to of replayed her memories to make sure that she didn't just imagine me confronting a group of teens from harassing an elderly man.

I hadn't expected to see this honor student neglect school, although I was doing the same at a nearby photoshoot I managed to escape from, hoping to escape also from the public's eye. When I first saw her, she looked sick, pale and frightened. Despite my wavering stature, I sat down next to the familiar girl but it was like she was in a narrow tunnel and I was on the outside, even when I resorted to bumping her feet she refused to budge. Then I saw what she did, heard what she did. And then _I_ snapped. She was so stunned I managed to sweet talk her into getting a bite with me… Questions ran amok trying to surface as I knew my time was limited to the girl who showed the most obvious disinterest in me- and that simply interested me more. But in that moment I wanted to curl up in a fetal position and cry out the burning shame and low self esteem I just brought upon myself.

"Oh-Yeah, I was, haha, sorry.." Right then, the window looked like the perfect place to jump out of along with my embarrassment. Drowning those thoughts in a cinnamon taste of whatever I blindly chose, I attempted in rearranging my thoughts.

"So- uh, how's everything with Nate?"

She was horrified. Wrong question.

"It's going.. Great." She puzzled, cheeks revealing a flattering shade of warmth I could feel, but knew it was just the humidity.

"That's good." Another sip.

She took a big swing of her cup, averting her eyes side to side for an escape route.

Closing my eyes in what was a steady mixture of shame, tiredness, and disappointment I finally said what's been on my mind for years. "Sorry, it must be really awkward to be here sitting with someone you don't like." I narrowed my eyes to my cup to drain the last of its contents before glancing at her embarrassed face. Oh but it wasn't embarrassed, or at least not that I thought. Eye face was soft, exiling any emotion or trait but absent mindedness, like my words went through one ear and out the other.

"Marinette?"

And as if her very name broke her spell, her face turned the shade I didn't think was possible- for any human. It looked as though I sat across from a ripe tomato.

"Uhhwhatdidyousay?" Her voice was piercing despite the low whisper. It was hard not to grin.

"Oh, was I wrong? Sorry, I've said to be very blunt. I've always considered you a friend Marinette, someone you can talk to about anything but to be honest I've always thought you disliked me." God how pretentious could I sound? But, it was one way to clear the air between us. Sending a good nature, light laugh to lighten my tone. I took another sip of my now tasteless drink to prevent me from rambling on.

"Oh-Well, I-I.." The drink she had halfway to her lips that had been frozen there during the course of talk slipped out of her hand. Spilling everywhere, her frazzled self kept muttering apologies-Like she didn't even feel the hot chocolate scalding her arms. "Sorry-Oh my god, I'm such a dumba-"

"Marinette!" My wrist closed around her dry elbow, practically knocking over the circular table, as my grip was as tight and rushed as my tone. Only when she jerked with surprise-and pain, did I loosen my grip, not yet letting go of the poor girl. Hissing in protest, she dropped the bundle of napkins she was using as a dam to prevent the drink from spreading even further onto the ground. "Your wrist!"

"Ouch, wait!" But I had pulled up her sleeves to access the damage, the ironic medical experience I've gained over the course of my Chat Noir life coming to life. Her pale skin was like milk, smooth and perfect despite a couple of freckles, oh and the heated red patches lining the week old bruises that covered her forearm. Protesting the sudden contact, she swapped her arm to her chest, looking betrayed and shamed as I was bewildered and.. Sorrowful.

My suspicion was correct.

…..

"I'm leaving." Forget awkward personality, I could feel my superhero persona coming to life. Hastily, I threw my money down on the table, cringing slightly at the liquid that splashed on me and the money. But who cares, not like he can't afford to lose a couple of dollars.

"Wait, are you ok-" He stammered, knocking his chair back at my abruptness. Brushing him off, I headed to the door, resisting the urge to slam it. Outside was chilled, the murky and foggy day had turned into a shivering light rain, it felt good on my burned arm and steaming mood. Only when he followed me out had I realized the importance of what just happened.

"Marinette, please, I want to help you."

Terror made my eyes the size of the moon and I knew whatever color had spread over my face had been washed clean off. "With what?" I spoke without breathing. Or was I? My head felt light, maybe I was hyperventilating. My chest was heaving like it. Those injuries. Did he suspect-? No, it was impossible. This was entirely different.

His eyes adverted to the side walk, biting his lip in a way that may of swooned me but only made my heart feel constricted, my eyes suddenly felt warm and tired. Was it my shame or his shame that made him act that embarrassed? It doesn't matter. He thought I was an abused victim.

 _But you are._

"Marinette, let me walk you home." He approached cautiously, extending a helpful hand. The same one that I still felt its heat on my drenched forearm.

"Fuck off." Practically barking, I took a step back, holding my arms for closure, to keep me for actually taking his offer.

"I-" His voice cracked.. Something flashed in his vibrant green eyes, which were once overflowing with either concern or pity. It looked like I just gave him nostalgia, or recognition. But it was replaced now with pressing suspicion. Whether it was something else or concern for my own personal safety was beyond me. His lips bit into a stern line etched with uncertainty. He pressed once again. "Please, Marinette. Let me make sure that you're okay-That, uh, your arm is okay."

My hand practically tattooed my arm with the way I held onto it for dear life. "Thanks for the drink, Adrien. See you at school." I dismissed, jogging away like I was racing the pending rain, half expecting the boy with the warmest smile that could probably keep the water from chilling my bones, to run after me. But he stayed put, his hand retreating from his reaching stance. Good. That's the way it should be.

Flicking my wrist I was shielded from the world by my hoodie despite it's little ability to keep me dry. The surroundings sounded flushed, like it was behind a door I held up a glass cup against it to eavesdrop it's secrets. How am I going to get over this? Adrien, he's never really given me attention-So, I'm safe.. Yeah, safe. What's a poor girl's problem to such a high person? He even accused me of my disinterest in him.. God, he's quite full of himself ain't he.

The thoughts were calming, the way I pulled and separated each red string that seemed to tie me to such people, easing my trouble mind of actually getting involved. Convincing yourself of such things works wonders when you have such a low opinion of yourself-Doesn't it? A let a sigh pass through my silence right when my pocket seemed to vibrate like the sign of my life brought it's own.

 **Nate** filled it's screen, along with the time. It was already six thirty and I had blown off our five o'clock movie. Not good.

"Hey, you." I forced my cheery voice he's probably became accustom to. He did not seem pleased. Fear began to course through me once again.

"Where are you? I hear cars, are you outside?" I silently hoped it was the phone that made his voice seem flat with exasperation.

"Er, yeah, I got on the wrong train.. Again. Look…I'm-"

"You're sorry. Once again…" Some how it reminded me of conversations I had with Hawk Moth. Always him finishing them, stopping any room for my stories.

"...I really am." I shrugged, knowing he couldn't see.

"Marinette you said you wouldn't do this anymore." He sighed, and could mentally see him rubbing the space between his eyebrows. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

 _Oh._ Fear of rejection made me stop right in my tracks. A couple of cars had to honk before I could continue walking across the crosswalk. "...Wh-"

"Yep. I've had it. That was the last straw. I'm fed up with this." His words were dead serious as tears welled in my eyes.

Sniffling, "Nate, please-. I can't lose you-" _Too._

As if releaved to see that he could make me resort to such weakness, he chuckled a forced nervous laugh that made him lose all edge. "Holy, are you crying?! Oh man, I was joking! I was just playing! Please don't cry Mari, I'll be right there."

This was the kind of emotional torture I really, _really_ didn't need. But I brushed past it, happy this cold night I could share some of it with him. I waved my free hand dismissively, huffs of laughing dissolving my insecurities. Only a couple of minutes passed before we were both laughing. "No, um.. Can you meet me at my house? I'll be taking the bus, so I can meet you in thirty…"

The paused stretched as I'm sure did his worried smile. Nate could be very scary if angry, and very protective if worried. "I can just go and pick you up."

"Nate, I already paid for my ticket. Besides, you know how much I like pondering my feelings while looking majestic, and the bus provides the perfect scenery."

His nose must of shrunk in exaggerated disgust. "I hate it when you pretend to be all vintage and hipster." Despite myself, I snorted something that definitely wasn't ladylike. But it fueled his ego, and amusement. "Fine, but be careful, watch out for drunkards.. Do you want to stay on the phone?"

My mouth moved to say yes, the sound of his voice when it wasn't so direct, but awkward, soothing the jumping nerves and suppressing pressure in my chest- Not to forget the burning of my wrist. But this was exactly the moments I treasured where I could zone out without troubling feelings, or most of the time, and just enjoy the silence of my brain. Of my unruly thoughts.

"No," I said softly, avoiding the bruising shoves of the filtering people. "Thank you."

"Alright.. I'm here for you. Whenever you need me, Mari." The voice responded though it felt foreign. My hands wrapped around the base of my hoodie, tightening the pressure around my neck that already feels swollen inside.

"I know. See you."

"See you." My finger hit the end button as I crammed my way into one of the carts, shoving my legs between the way of others, slipping in between the cracks of security and restlessness. Between utter calmness and feeling as though my skin was crawling. When I brushed away the tingling feelings below the frozen surface of my arms, it didn't help. Not even when I attempted to scrub the unpleasantness away viciously, tearing apart my bandages on my arms and whatever healing they had done the past couple of weeks.

My eyebrows drew together, feeling as though these feelings betrayed me and my safety. My happiness. What was happening to me? Why couldn't I erase this numbness? Why could I still feel his touch as though it was etching into my very soul? I shouldn't feel this. I haven't felt like this, not since before Tikki. It should've stopped when I joined my alliance with Hawk Moth. He had said so himself. Adrien's voices came filling into my head… What does he have to do with anything? I refuse to let him pity me. To "help" me. Convincing myself that Adrien's high position no way impeded my "comfortable" facade life, that he wouldn't pursue this issue any further did I realize these feelings.

But why? Why am I feeling guilt? Shame?

My hand stopped when I felt warmth cover my hands and fingers, my nails full of now dead skin from the constant itching. To some other person, they'd think I was on drugs or perhaps had OCD. But I didn't care as they just thought the behavior was normal for any other sketchy figure they've came into contact with before, losing all interest soon enough.

I nodded once, finding my resolution.

 _I have to erase these,_ my hand clutched my chest, _I have to erase this._

…

Song- Hurts like hell by Fleurie. Many of the songs I listen to, as I assume also applies to many of you, are the inspiration for my writings, these scenes and even my art. I wanted to try to incorporate that more, because I love discovering more music that aids to these feelings and what not. But annyyyways. Here's another chapter. Sorry for mistakes, and thanks for reading XOXO.


	6. Chapter 6

I hadn't seen her in weeks. Her blue eyes dazzled, like they were meant to be with the stars. But oh boy, were they blazin'. Her hatred was seething, over flowing her irises. Someone didn't have a good day. And it's not because she had already attempted a swing with reckless and little control that had only infuriated her more when I quickly dodged it, no, it was because the gal I came to known who hid in the shadows was out in the open.

Taunting and intimidating.

"It's been a while." Seeing her face brought unpleasant memories, or rather it splashed cold water (maybe from her irises) of her true nature that disappointed whatever expectations I had of her. Which was a ridiculous notion on my part, she's a bloody villain for God's sake. And like my villains, I'm bound to defeat them. "Angry?"

She swung her leg in a high arch that made me knees go weak at the sight, god women are another powerful being. I managed to stop the attack with one hand, inches from my face that she looked fondly on. Well, the kind of fondness if she had a great love for pummelling kickboxing dummies which I'm convinced is all that she's seeing right now. Not risking another hit, I gripped harder on her ankle, but it just left her to lean closer with toe-curling flexibility to give me a close death stare. "Livid." She spoke through clenched teeth. Taking advantage of our proximity, she swung her free hand to cuff me at the chin, and not so gracefully did I unlatch her leg and jumped back- Almost falling off the edge of the abandoned warehouse.

"Goodness me, I hope it's not directed at me since last time we squared off you had almost beaten your own kind into critical condition. Hate to see what'd you do to a foe."

Oh. Did I strike a nerve? Her face was blazing and all that answered me was silence and another sweep kick that I managed to jump over. And by the stream of other low blows she attempted to land while blinded in anger told me she was more than just livid. How a sweet, small looking girl could deliver such force and feelings is beyond me.

"Look, Lovebug," I sighed heavily with my arms put up innocently. "Not that I don't _love_ your company but let's just say I'm not entirely pleased with you at the moment." Damn right I wasn't, she had exposed herself to the media in the worse way, sending a poor woman into the hospital. Trust me, I agree that the victim needed help but maybe in the form of a chaise lounge and weekly talks with a therapist instead of the one involving two days in the ER. And I can't say my earlier encounter with an even more shorter and stubborn girl had upsetted me greatly. This was just the cherry on top.

But did she care? No, as always she's just putting herself deeper into her feelings, unbridled and vulnerable… Both of the girls, actually… Their similar words and actions just kept me in an infinte loop, telling me that both of the girls are obviously going through the same ordeal.

"That's a shame cus' I'm itching for yours." Like a blade her voice cut through my advances of derailing her intentions. When she started twirling her yo-yo did I feel my spine straighten right up with alertness.

"Forgive me, LadyBug, but I hadn't wanted it to come to this." Getting the upper hand is easy when your opponent is an emotional wreck that only sees through a narrow tunnel surrounded by bloodlust. God help me if we actually do get into a fight and I don't have that disembodied voice come to _my aid_ , telling her to show mercy and leave. Well more like _her aid_ but I'm sure she doesn't really need it. One sweep of a leg, much like her own move, landed her on her back in a wincing crash.

She must've knocked the wind out of her because she struggled, sputtering for air and then taking the deepest of breaths as well as blinking away her disorderness. I could practically feel her wrath die down with the help of the cold fall breeze. Balancing on the balls of my feet, I sank down right above her head, looking at her upside down face turn blank and uninterested.

"Did you… Hit something?" After counting exactly five minutes I risked contact with her.

"Just the ground." Her answer was unison with her chest decompressing along with an escaped sigh.

"... Is your head clear?"

This time her eyes peered up, most of her baby blue disappearing in white as her eyes practically rolled to sneer at me. "Crystal."

Rolling my own, I fell back from my heels and onto my bottom, forcibly ignoring the soggy cold that crept up my suit. I got a good sight of her from this point, though it wasn't the best but it did ensure she couldn't catch me staring. Her hair was a mess in her pigtails, that despite being braided, had lost much of it's shape in her abrupt movements. The small and oval face flushed as it's heat seemed to be replaced with the impending cold. She made no attempt in getting up from the ground, the only sign that she was awake was the slight movements her eyes made peering up in the rare, clear night sky that wasn't polluted by the weekday night traffic. "Do you want to talk?"

Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion rather than the improbable thought that I was asking my enemy to open up. If only we could have these discussions before she tries to beat me to a pulp. "Didn't you say you weren't _pleased_ with me?" The way she rolled that sentence out made me blush. I hoped to hell I didn't sound _that_ pretentious. Ugh, no wonder Marinette had ran away from me.

Shrugging, I decided to suck up the unpleasantness of laying down on the slimy gunk covered surface. _Adrien you're not helping this whole pretentious thing, are you._ My head had designated its place by her's, shoulder by shoulder. It would've been an ideal date full of stargazing if we weren't suppose to be fighting. "Yes, but didn't I say I liked your company?" I turned to peer at her, my eyes inlined with her nose as we laid in opposite directions. She barely acknowledged me but I could've sworn I saw something shine in those eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" The voice seemed to shake my bones after a stretch of silence. When had I became aware of how her voice sometimes hitched with uncertain awkwardness? It was cute, though. Kind of like an overly sweet girl trying to correct the mistake of another but was terrified of their unpredictable response. Part of me wondered if she really was that self conscious. She shouldn't, I thought, she was beautiful, striking, and poised.

"Ask away." My voice sounded forcibly monotone that I had received a dubious expression. I really wasn't trying to barcade any secrets or some kind of intention, like this was an enemy who could possibly be getting intel. And no, I wasn't trying to impress the incredible lady with some James Bond persona. I was trying to keep my voice from breaking. Okay, come on guy's problems will never EVER compare ones of a girls', I'm no fool, but even we worry about our voice cracking and spilling out indecent thoughts. We want to look cool while hiding our adolescent changes.

"Why didn't you fight me… Like, before?"

My face smooshed in confusion. "Huh? When?"

I wondered if it was possible to roll your eyes completely behind your head, because she sure made it look that way. Probably sighing inwardly she turned onto her shoulder, ignoring the shot of pain that passed on her face. Oh… Yeah. That was the one she had skidded on, landing on the harsh pavement. "Cat lady. You very hurt. Me very angry?"

"Yeah, but I did fight you. With my body, I believe. I used it as a weapon." Pointing out the obvious like she wasn't the one who got the body weight and momentum of a teenage boy aimed at her side.

She turned back to look at the sky as if remembering her behavior then, that deserved me flying at her like a cannonball. "No shit. But you stopped."

"And I prepared to fight you?" What answer was she looking for? I was already regretting the whole incident.. And I wasn't sure why. She'd deserved every bit of it.. But the fact that she could've done it for my sake was a confusing aspect of it.

"Yeah.." She twiddled with her black strands of hair that melted into the sky from where I layed. "But you stopped. You hesitated. Why?"

"Um… I thought it was more of a challenging protest than hesitation, and I don't really trust my abilities to go against you when you were raging so badly." Fuck. Did I just admit I wasn't any match to her, _my enemy?_

"Then what about now?" She quizzed.

"What about now?"

"You seem to trust your ability to lay down next to me."

"I-." Oh. Yeah. It was as though I was in a shark proof cage under water and just decided to open up the latches, allowing the great white to enter 'cus I thought they were too cute to be such fierce, gruesome animals. They really are such misunderstood animals. "...Okay. Now can I ask you a question?"

"You never answered mine."

"Because I don't have an answer." Honestly, I didn't. This was the last thing I should be doing with a subordinate of Hawk Moth. She nodded, small but it was there.

"Ask away." She mimicked along with my once monotone voice that I had to tightly close my eyes as the small humiliation hit me. Sighing it out, I thought of the question that's probably been on my mind since I first saw her from the shadows.

"Why are you working with Hawk Moth?" At least she looked unfazed, kind of like she was expecting it. Good, it was a damn fine question. Someone of her quality, despite how vicious she can get, shouldn't even be in the same room as him, breathing the same air as him… Okay maybe she really did land a punch on me because here I was wishing she wasn't who she was. As if she heard my thoughts, she got up with eased agility, she wasn't in a rush. This was good, right? I sat up, supported by hands as I watched her stretch. She still said nothing. Despite myself, I pried. "Well?"

"Well, I don't have an answer." Was she making fun of me? I actually didn't have an answer for her question! She should at least know the foundation of pledging to such a tyrant, read some kind of agreement on joining the dark side contract, or had some pitted hate against Paris that was equal to of Hawk Moth's. Which is exactly what I said… Or summed up in a way that probably didn't end up with me getting hit.

"You don't have an answer to why you're a villain?" Ridiculous. It actually angered me! The nice, cool cat of Paris. She heard the heated emotion behind my passive aggressive tone. She simply looked at me, content and down to earth, while she placed a foot on the edge of the building she shared. Tilting her head, she looked down upon me in a manner that actually ticked me off.

"And you don't have an answer to of why you trust me so much."

Heat blossomed onto my cheeks. Embarrassment, rage, and vexation. "As if I'd ever trust someone like you." I meant to say a villain. I meant to tell her I did trust her and it terrified me. But I didn't.

She simply offered a small smile, looking at the ground as she listened to my heavy breathing. God damnit, Adrien say something and clear the air! Nothing came out, only rushes of hot air. Staring down at me feet, I was too angry at myself-At this situation. Her fluid voice shook more than it's ever before, I wondered if I was straining to hear her answer so much that it actually scared me. It was ice cold, betraying any emotion, and it opened more holes in me than I should've ever allowed. "Me too."

I didn't have to look up to see she was gone, like a magician's cape the night swept her away along with her tricks and secrets.

 _Me too._

Did she mean that she couldn't trust me?

Or, rather, she couldn't trust herself as well?

Whipping myself from my stumped position, I followed her steed of angrily throwing myself off the building back to my home, already knowing the answer.

"Adrien," Natalie had knocked on the door not even a minute after I had transformed and crashed on my bed. "Are you asleep?"

"Eh-No." i coughed any lingering emotion I had from before, getting up from my bed to open the door to meet with strained assistant, her youthful years wasting away with unneeded stress my father had always piled up on him. "What's up Nat?"

It was improper to use such a tone and address her so informally, a punishment worthy of a smack to the back of the head. But, I didn't care and neither did Natalie after she recovered her shock. Not like they can hurt me when I'm already injured. "Your father wanted me to check on your arm. How is it?"

Unable to hide my limp or even straighten one arm without tightening the slice skin on my chest, I had fooled them with a story that I had been pushed down the stairs by a jealous model a couple of gigs ago. They gave me a sling my father forced me to wear for a month but I managed to get away with it for only a week. Okay, not the best excuse seeing it could turn in the wrong direction, but I couldn't of made any other plausible explanation that kept the night in which I was shredded by lonely woman and then an fearless villain secret, nor could've I said something like "I tripped. I tripped _really_ bad." Because my father would've made me black and blue just on the premises I was a weakling. Yep. I've gotten this lying down to a science. But it did nothing to coax my father, nothing to stop him from when he got angry… At least it kept the most important parts of my life and being protected. "Just about healed." I bit into my cheek to surpress negative emotions as I flexed my injured arm. "See? So, I'm all set." Though the scratches on my chest and bruises were another thing. Thank god it wasn't swimsuit season.

Natalie's eyebrows came down in a concerning manor. "Really…" But she seemed to of let it go with a sigh. "Really, Adrien. You're going to get yourself seriously hurt one of these days." Parts of me think that maybe Natalie is the only one who knows my identitiy. But that's impossible, I knew it was just the protectiveness that she had gained over the years basically becoming my guardian. It was flattering, reminded me that her intentions although blunt and not as affectionate were the same as my mother's once were. "I'm sorry."

Well… Wasn't expecting that. "Huh? For what?" I chuckled, giving her a supportive pat.

Before answering she seemed to search for the words to address some of the fucked up things I've been through that she couldn't help, like she failed in some parts. But then again, she'll only be my manager, an assistant. No need for her to take such a role. I knew what she wanted to say, what she wanted to express with compassion. "For.. Just, what happened to you!" She confided. I gave her a knowing smile, making her understand that it wasn't just that she was sorry for.

We both knew, that her condolences weren't of what someone else did to me, but perhaps just a certain person's actions towards me. A certain father's actions towards me. Parts of my body ached, but I shook it off with a genuine smile. "Thank you, Natalie. I'm okay, please don't worry.

I'm fine. I'm different from him, from his violence. And I was grateful for it, and I want to use it to protect people. People like her, like them. Whether it's a villain or citizen. I want to be good.

Parts of me wondered if she did too.

...

Shorter chapter. I just love Adrien so much. Okay, yeah. Hope you liked it, thanks for reading XOXO.


	7. Chapter 7

"Marinettteeeeeeee! Please," Alya squealed, whining into her arms that draped across the table. "Just one look at your notes? A glance?"

The corners of my mouth perked up in a defeated smile. "Not even a peak."

"Uhg!" Came a throaty protest to my stinginess. "You're cruel, Mar, so cruel!"

"Ha ha ha." It wasn't hard to laugh without feelings behind it and I used it freely in these situations.

"Nathan! You tell Mari! Warm up her frozen heart with sweet nothings." Hazel eyes peaked up from the forest of red ombre hair, directed to my boyfriend who was slowly making his way up the stairs.

"Sorry, Alya, I don't think even I could cozy up to this ice princess…" He sat down in a huff, leaning into one elbow by my side to give me a wink he was obviously was too inexperience to make attractive. This little adorable nerd. "Though I can try."

"Ew. Gross. Okay." Alya suddenly rolled up, pushing away his invisible flirtatious advances away from her like they were cooties. She hung her head back on the plastic part of the chair, blowing air from her blown and golden cheeks. "I'm so screwed. There goes any chances of me passing high school. God, I'm going to ride the rails, I'm going to lose everything and date a guy who has a face tattoo and get knocked up by the time I'm eighteen. King of Hell, Lucifer, will personally come and sabotage any chance I get at redemption, of life, of love-"

"Christ, Alya, it's only a class assignment and you already have straight A's…" I stared in horror.

"Of following my dreams of being a reporter! A journalist!" She finished by swinging her arm to cover her eyes and transparent tears.

Sharing a look at Nate, we both turned back to my overly dramatic friend. "Yeah, okay. You're the closest person to pursuing their dreams than the rest of us."

"Says the designer and artist."

Nate rolled his eyes, a daring action seeing that Alya could plop him on his butt with a single swing. "But what about your latest reporting? Didn't you make it on the news or something."

"Yeah…" She sniffed, obviously getting some of her pride back.

"Wait! I hadn't seen your new video yet!" I placed my hand on her "shaking" shoulders. That picked her right up as she flew from her slacking position as if she was just raised from the dead.

"You haven't seen it? It's been online for a couple of weeks, they even had it on L'Officiel." Alya pulled out her phone covered in a red and black polka dot design I had made for her a couple years back. The familiar sighting tugged at my heartstrings, reminding me of someone. "It's so epic."

"Yeah," Nate nodded at the information I was obvious ignorant to. "It's weird though, it's not a one time thing. Like she's not like the other ones he's fought?"

"Huh? Wait, is it a video of Kim challenging someone other than Alix?" Though I don't think that would be as worth as being on a magazine that's equivalent with _Vogue_ and _People._

They both gave me an incredible, disbelieving look that made me feel like I was speaking another language. "No," Alya gave a bubbly laugh at my ignorance. "Chat Noir has a new villain!"

You know how my heartstrings were being tugged? Yeah well right now, it felt like that. Except there was tear and it was my brainstem. As if the invisible hand pulled the switch off my "light," I felt cold and numb all over. I knew that I had been seen, right after Chat at thrown me across the street, but I didn't think too much of it. "Haven't you seen the news? Or, you know, the world?" Nate added unnecessarily. Way to make me feel like a hermit, though he was true. I spent most of my time avoiding my house and just contact all together. And it wasn't helping that Hawk Moth had made me, personally, send out his butterflies and investigating the kind of people who would be made a great akuma advantage. Yes, the blood thirsty ones who will have no problem taking Chat's miraculous. The chills of actually watching, and being tasked with such dark people made me worry that the temperature in the room had actually dropped.

Then again, I'm practically one of them. I was such a newbie with this, it should be a matter of days until I'm completely numb. Great. "No, I've been spending a lot of time with my head in my books and sewing supplies."

Nate looked shock, Alya equally appalled. "You're designing again?!" She hugged me with eye bulging force.

"Yes." Nope.

"Wow, so you got your inspiration back?" Nate asked, mentioning the times we'd hang out and I was forced to give reasons for some of my behaviors. I usually managed to shut him up with a kiss or two.

"Um, I think so." I know I didn't.

"Great! I'm so happy Mar!" Alya's voice broke one eardrum as the maximized volume on her phone blew my other one since her hand held it right by it. "Oh, sorry. But no matter how awesome that is, you _have_ to see this."

The long rectangle had me-Or well, sorta me. No way I would've recognized myself by the way I acted, as if possessed by an angry wrestler, a rabid animal. The video played right when I was encrypting my heel into the poor woman's chest. And when I had a blond head carve it's own imprint between my ribs I gasped. Not like "oh no, my girly mind is weak to this violence, oh god she's horrible, blah blah blah" but more like I could physically feel the pain it had created, my bruise that was still bright with it's contusion igniting in psychological agony. I placed my hand over the place, still delicate to the touch as I continued to cower while watching this video of such a heartless woman. Ah, I mean me. Nate's pudgy finger came into view of the HD pixels.

"See? It's like the other victims, or villains, whatever but it's black." I guess he meant the noir butterfly mask that seemed be projected by my eyes, hovering over my stern face as it contorted with disgusting wrath. It was then, when Hawk Moth told me I had blown my cover too much and had to run away from the forming crowd. The video ended with Alya's face retelling her inferences and observations, even including some interviews of familiar looking people.

Some were classmates, others were frequent visitors at my parent's bakery.

"Poor Chat, I hope that she-demon goes back to where ever she crawled out from."

"Absolutely disgusting."

"My heart goes out to Leslie and her family." Was that her name? Leslie? The name of the woman I sent to the ER, according to Chat. I bit my trembling lips and forced my eyes to remain open in fear I'd be releasing tears. But in doing so, I subjected myself to more sadistic torture.

"Truly evil." Rose teared on screen.

"There's a special place for people like her." One older lady spat on the ground next to her. Didn't she know how unattractive that was? And on social media?

"Chat Noir will get her, don't you forget about that. Are you watching, mother-" I guess Alya was PG-13 as she bleeped out any swears, though it contradicted the violences she recorded and made public. "And if he doesn't, you bet your *bleep* I will." The man snarled viciously, even making me jump back in surprise. Definitely not PG-13.

"Thank god Chat was there, he truly is the hero we need."

"I hope he's okay."

The comments went on, quick but it made whiplashed on my soul that seemed to welt and seemed to of blocked my throat. Alya finally turned the blessed thing off. They were watching me the entire time, seeing my expression they must've known how much I was affected by it because both of their hands were on my shoulder or back. "Are _you_ okay, Marinette?"

"Uhh-Yes.. Just didn't to expect any of that… Usually the fights are less.. Violent…"

"Yeah, no kidding. She even scared me, I was afraid she'd turn on me since I was the first on the scene recording." Oh, she was? I didn't even notice, because all that was going through my head was how I wanted to bash Chat's head into the pavement.

"It seemed to help Chat's popularity though, I hadn't known he was this favored by such.. Vocal people." Violent was the word I would've used. Alya simply shrugged.

"Can't say people weren't brought together by this action. I think it's the fact she seems so human and possible for people to actually take her down themselves, you know?"

"Yeah but not everyone has the same powers as Chat, or that girl nonetheless." Nate brought his puckered lips to the side of his face in concentration. "Damn… She was really scary."

Alya shuttered. "Yeah, she was definitely lookin' for a fight, and if she wasn't summoned back to the slums she came from I would've guessed she'd win against Chat."

I nodded, but vaguely thought what she said was rude. My house isn't the best but it was certainly not equal to the slums. I crossed my arms and mimicked my boyfriend's concentration behaviors without realizing it, making both of them eager to share their opinions with a newbie like me. Entitling jerks.

"Think she's being controlled?" Yep, well, for the most part.

"Didn't you say for yourself? She's different from the rest. Maybe she's the one who's responsible for turning people into… _Things_ like her." Alya weren't you one of those _things_?

"It'd make sense, but then who called her and ultimately saved Chat's life?" Nate puzzled again.

"Satan." Alya spat, obviously angered that her favorite topic to cover, Chat, was injured, threatened by the mystery villain. Half of me wanted Nate to defend her, or me, but then I understood that the laugh he shared with Alya (despite my disappointment) was normal. They didn't know, they couldn't of.

"So you guys don't think she's a victim?" I piped up after awhile. Alya scowled once again while Nate shrugged-He wasn't a big fan of Chat Noir huh.

"Of course not. She's vile and heartless to of attacked a woman, who in fact wasn't even an akuma anymore! That villain didn't stop until she was in critical condition!"

"Yeah… That did seem pretty heartless." Okay, this is enough.

"I hope Chat Noir is taking care of her."

"We'd be better off without such a villain."

Their words blended together and I could've sworn that I heard my name a couple of times. My shoes whom I've had a staring contest with for the past while seemed to swirl.

"We'd be better off without you, Marinette." Alya laughed, joining with Nate's chuckles.

"Honestly, all she does is care about herself! I mean you saw the way she scurried away from Chat Noir's fight like the little rat she is." Nate squeezed my shoulder, betraying the ridicule and hatred from his voice.

"She should just, disappear, right?" Alya lightly punched Nate's arm.

"A waste of oxygen, if I do say so myself." Nate said gruffly, though it felt filtered through my ears.

"No wonder no one loves her!"

"Yeah! No wonder why Hawk Moth chose such a pitiful thing."

"It's funny because in the end, all he cares about is Chat Noir." Alya snorted.

"God, she's so sad."

"She's so empty."

Empty. I never really understood that, but I still use it to best describe myself. Was I empty? Without feelings? But that's a lie, it stings. It stings a hell of a lot. I felt heat in my chest, in my head, in my throat and I could've sworn I had frostbite nibbling at my toes and fingers at some points. My heart raced and my mind slowed. I didn't care but then again I did. Everything they said was right. So… I had nothing to lose but these "empty" feelings. I wondered if I just let everything go, would this pain disappear as well, swept away by the tides of my memories and connections. A new start. A fresh one. Maybe I'd like terrorizing the city with Hawk Moth, I seemed to have done more as a villain than the times I had attempted to become a hero. We'd get Chat Noir, expose everything that he is, over power everything, and then no one could confuse me. I'd be myself, what's left of myself.

"But that's not what you want." Tikki sighed, biting into a cookie I'd stash in my bag's pocket.

"Eh?"

"Mari, come on! That's not you!" Tikki's serious tone turned into a bubble of giggles. "Besides why would you want to lose someone as cute as Chat!"

"I do not think he's cute!" I protested as though I was a five year old girl who thought being touched by a guy was repulsive. "And what do you know about me? I'm heartless, evil, disgusting!"

Tikki looked like I had seven heads. "You're kidding right? Marinette, change yourself for the better than if you're not happy. Although, I don't believe for a second you're either of those things."

Rolling my eyes, I face my demigod who floated with ease. "Change myself? I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because, I can't."

This time she rolled her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I can't if I want to save you!"

"Save me? I'd never want you to change yourself and put yourself in so much pain for my sake."

"Well I'm not going to abandon you! It'll be okay, we'll make it happen okay? We'll be together again. I'll get you back.

"What's with 'we'll?' I don't want that, not if it means being the villain." Despite her small body, her voice was as overpowering and thrilling as ever. "You know I'd never want that, for either of us… Though it hasn't been the case in the past…" She went on, absorbed in memories.

Didn't she see what I was doing for her? For us? "I don't care. You're not even her, so what the fuck do you know what she wanted. Only me, her partner can possibly know."

"What do you know about what I want? I don't want a villain, I want a hero. Don't use me as an excuse for your evilness, a reason for your self pity." Tikki's voice morphed into my own and it shook my very being, out of the darkness that surrounded me. "You're just looking for an excuse for your evil ways, afterall."

"Whatever happens to her, she deserves it." Alya's voice brought me back, puffing in exasperation.

"She's not even worth it."

That's it. Almost tumbling over my chair, I stood up and smacked my palms to the black desk, already fully of graffiti-I just noticed- of more slurs and names of the new up and coming villain, me. My stomach turned, sickness rolled me to my heels like fear. I had to get out of here, I could still hear Alya and Nate's degrading battering that was, in the end, always directed at me. Despite who I was, Marinette or Ladybug, I was plagued by evil. Tikki's own voice still resonated inside me, stirring my insecurities. Vaguely, I saw that she wasn't actually there-Or normal, and that I hadn't actually talked to her after so long. It was enough to crush me, completely and utterly. Not even my best friend, my closest one, would be there for me. Would tolerate me.

"Excuse me." I whispered, covering my stomach and mouth with either hand. Then I ran. Ran away from my friends, ran away from the spot that I could've sworn I smelled sweet cookies from. I ran far away, from myself that is. I didn't last two seconds outside the classroom before bumping into the very chiseled Adrien Agreste.

...

Both get their own separated chapters, I guess. OKAY. Yes. Hope you enjoyed reading, XOXO thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

…

What struck me first, literally that is, was her compelling force that made me mimick a pose I'd use as Chat Noir to withhold her weight. Then the shaking of her arms, her knees, everything. Marinette was crumbling in my hands.

"Wha- Jesus Christ." Nino said beside me, I must've busted his nose with my abrupt stop that made him go straight into my back. "That really hurt- Oh, is that.. Is that Marinette?"

If on queue, Marinette looked up from her stalled frozeness, horrified to see us both as if we've appeared of thin air. "Marinette." I finally found my voice, much more precise and controlled than I felt.

Nino began taking steps to closer examine the most contempt student be an absolute emotional mess. When she tried to slash back from my closeness, and began to trip over her own feet, I grabbed onto her forearm for support. A loud yelp, like from a little Shitzu errupted from her strained mouth. The sleeve of Marinette's flowy, dark purple dress, had slipped and there exposed a bandaged arm. The edges of the sticky adhesive reddening, some parts had already turned purple.

Not good. Nino, reached out still cautious as if she was a rabid animal. I reminded myself to punch him later. Then Nate's and Alya's shouts erupted from the open classroom. For god's sake, it felt like time had stopped but now I noticed how fast everything was happening. Marinette still looked stunned, and... Just gone. My feet moved before my thoughts as well as Marinette's own slip-on flats. I tried not to grab too hard on her bruised arm, but it wasn't the easiest tasks especially with her resistances. Thank god she was a fast runner or else I would've princess carried her into the boy's bathroom.

Yup. Not the most private place, but I knew the abandoned bathroom would have an accessible lock and was almost deserted from it's tedious length away from the classes. They were meant for after school activities, rendering us completely alone as everyone was in class.

Slowly closing the door, I brought her into my chest to silence her confusion and audible sadness, and once I heard Alya's heels and Nate's puffing pass us did I finally see what I had done.

Roughly than I would've liked, I pushed her away from me. She stumbled at first, probably light headed from her tears, but then she kept herself upright and stared at me like she was picking a fight. But that was only the appearance. I knew she didn't have any strength whatsoever to get into another argument with me again, not like last time. I actually think she didn't even know what happened. Sighing out one of my "oh god no going back now" sigh, I relaxed against the door, drawing my hand to lazily try to wipe my sudden exhaustion from my face.

I waited a while, and when she started to shrink to the floor, on the opposite side directly from where I now sat, did I say something. "Does it hurt?" Fuck trying to play innocent. I knew she was hurt, physically and mentally. She seemed of given up hiding whatever secret her injuries inquired because she shook her head at my directness. "Can I see it?"

She simply tucked her knees further underneath her chin, her face completely hidden by her black locks. "Marinette. Please, I have a first aid kit." I shook my bag lightly. Still nothing. "Marinette, if you don't come out from cowering in that corner I'm going to get stark naked." Notta, not my best ultimatum but whatever. If she wasn't going to budge, I was going to have to do it for her.

Stiff muscles ached as I slid back up the door, more than welcoming the support it provided. I was at Marinette's side in a heartbeat it seemed but my legs that felt like lead told me it was most definitely not. I slid back down the wall, right besides her, ignoring the fact that my extended legs brushed against her thigh that was exposed slightly from her dress. I rolled up my quarter button grey shirt, all the way to my elbow exposing small bruises that looked like dots. It reminded me of her black dots. Ladybug's. I shook out her from my memories although it was harder than ever, it seems. These bruises weren't from the villain, no, it was from a true villain that captured me when I came home late last night for the "last time" as he had screamed. "My father," I explained when I saw the blue in the slits of her eyelids moved to catch a secret glance. "I bruise rather easily, huh. It shouldn't be this pigment from simply a person's grip."

Her head lifted, her lower lip slightly quivering. Confused and alarmed she looked at me for the answers of her unasked questions. "He doesn't do much more than this, after all he can't dent his favorite trophy." My laugh had no humor, it was a tasteless joke afterall. "I don't let it to get to me, though. I think I've felt worse pain though, from a girl nonetheless." My other hand rubbed my eye and slid down to my chin, all of which came into contact with Ladybug. Forget akuma victims, she could really knock some sense into you. Or, well you know, common sense of not to mess with her ever again. Again, I smiled faintly at my lame attempt at humor. Marinette's face only frowned more at my questioning behavior, of course she just saw me smile at myself like an idiot with no context whatsoever.

"Anyways… Look, it's no secret-to me that is-," I added quickly at her horrified expression, "That you're hurt. And now, you understand why I… Want to help you?"

It seemed like hours before she spoke, though the first class hadn't even finished. "Adrien.. I'm not… Look, it's not what it seems." Her voice seemed distant, as if this was a small ordeal to her, like she had bigger problems. Ridiculous. "I'm not…"

I nodded before she finished, the words going silent on her lips. "I don't know what's happening, but you're hurt. Okay? Can we at least agree to that."

She seemed to of wanted to disagree, but she managed to wipe her eyes for good measure and nod, sending her legs to go straight out from being bent underneath her chin. We matched positions, our feet a respectable distance away from bumping eachothers in a game of footsie. It wasn't really the time or place for it after all. "Adrien." Her stern voice made me jump slightly, how she was able to hide every emotion was beyond me, it was admirable as it was sad.

"Yes?" I leaned my head back, grating it against the tile wall as I watch the bathroom's yellow florescent lights twitch slightly.

"I didn't know." Like she was lost, she tried to look for something to grasp. It's my fault for adding this to her overwhelmed self after all that's been happening. Despite myself, I turned my head and gave her a sheepish smile.

"Of course not, no one does."

"Not even Nino?" She said after a while, letting the impact of knowing something so secretive hit her.

"Nope."

"Oh… Um.. So, when we talked.. Before.."

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to corner you, I just… Wanted to help?" I tried. It wasn't wrong nor was it correct. I wanted to talk, to know her, to know myself better. It's not everyday I can look at my mundane problems without being reminded of all of Paris's. No matter how depressing it may seem, it felt like an eye opener for me.

She nodded at my honesty. "Sorry I told you to fuck off."

"Haha, no no don't be. It's not everyday that you use such a loud voice. Kind of felt special." And it reminded me of Ladybug's own dialogue, of when we first talked and she told me to fuck off after accusing her. I tried to wash out memories of her, because it was time to focus on Marinette... Which always drew me back to Ladybug. A fleeting thought died as soon as it surfaced: Were they related? Knew each other? Friends?

Did she do that to her?

No. Adrien, this isn't what erasing thoughts of her meant. I shook my head and acted like I was shaking off my tiredness and not the frustration I felt for myself. "And I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to feel so uncomfortable."

"Yeah.. You're quite pushy huh."

Shrugging, I turned to respond, "I- Oh, Marinette." My voice dropped, dripping with mild concern. Her head followed my line of vision and on to her red, damp bandage.

"Crap." She hissed, now realizing the pain. Like before, I lightly grabbed her arm and helped her to her feet. Steading them when they threatened to falter. We rushed to the sink as I began unwrapping her arm. It was bruised, the edges of most already yellow at the edges of dotting light purples and pink. In the middle was scabbed skin, some of which peeled over. Probably from her nails sinking into them while she was sulking in the corner. Her whole arm looked as if it was transparent, as if the galaxy was held in her blood but was kept in her pale, smooth skin. I didn't even want to see how far they went up. This wasn't some bruise. It was an open wound, and it was jarred, not a clean cut.

"I'm going to wash and clean it, okay?" I waited until she nodded, dreading the incoming pain. My hands gentle washed and rubbed her hand and forearm, mindful of how this familiar pain will hurt her. "Sorry." I apologized, still focused on sanitizing this. No reason to let it get infected.

Her knuckles which gripped the porcelain easily matched it's egg white color. But she gasped her reply. "It's fine.. .Tha-nk you." She sufficed.

"Okay come here," I beckoned her back infront of the door, seating myself with her arm near my lap, my other one reaching blindly for my bag. A warm brush stroke my hand and then held it in a strong grip, Marinette's small dainty hand-Did girls always have such small hands?- Guided my own toward my bag, her face determined and pained. "Thanks." I muttered beneath my breath, desperately trying to focus on the job at hand. Literally.

"Mhm." She strained back, much more cooperated and vocal than before.

"This is just disinfecting spray, so it'll sting… A lot." Boy, did I know the very extent of the pain. You'd think you'd get numb to it if you use it every night, but that was a big fat 'you wish.'

"I know.." She bit her tongue, "I've done.. It a-lot.." Blood was beginning to surface her wound. I had to slap myself mentally to get back to it, but she had just confirmed my worse fears. She had more, she's treated herself enough to know she got used to it. That's not good. I think she didn't notice how much she was saying. By the time she practically clawed my other hand off, first gripping it for support and expressing her pain by latching onto something firm and solid, I had wrapped it in a shiny, clean, new bandaid. "Thanks." She gasped.

"Mhm." I nodded as she retreated her hand to hold it by her chest. "Can I ask-."

"No, Adrien. Don't." She read my mind. So much for that approach.

"Fine. But at least… Let me, I don't know… Look, I want to talk about this." Her cheeks heated up, her eyes glittering but then a dark realization washed over her and she adverted her eyes. What was that all about? Okay now I really wanted to talk.

"Well, I don't want to." She bit back, though I guess she realized my own troubled past. "Wait, I mean… Uhg. Adrien."

"Yes, Marinette?" I leaned against the door, holding one of my legs close to my side as she sat on one side of her bottom, leaning on her goodhand.

She bit back her lip, obviously uncomfortable with whatever she was thinking. "I… Okay, just to get this straight- I never hated you. Though after our last incident I was pretty skeptical… And then before when you dragged me in here, the boy's bathroom, and locked the door… But-Okay! That sounded pretty bad but-." Her eyebrows darted down completely once she heard my muffled laughs. "Am I amusing to you, Adrien Agreste?" She snapped.

I leaned back, laughing even harder. "Look, Mari, you didn't hurt my feelings," She seemed a bit disappointed, did she really want to see me down or was she disappointed I didn't hold her views to heart, that I should've dwelled on them. "I guess it's because I've always considered, or wanted to consider you a friend, and it just never played out that way."

"... Sorry… But it's probably best that way.. That you don't get.. Involved… With me.." Each separated fragment got lower and lower until it was a mere whisper that I wish I had my cat ears to hear.

I lifted an eyebrow, what's with this Bruce Wayne act? A thrill trembled through my back wanting her to say something along the lines of 'I work alone' though it totally didn't fit this scene, no matter how much a boy wanted it to. "Marinette, I think it's too late now, don't you think?"

Quick to dispel her utter panicked expression, I stuttered my intentions. "I-Would never, ever tell anyone about what I know okay, listen to me, I would never do that to you. God, what… Um, what I'm trying to get to is that.. I want to be your friend."

"I don't need someone who only wants pity." Though her quiet and seldom voice betrayed her hurtful words.

"Okay, Mari, I'm not doing this so I'd want someone to talk about my feelings, neither so I can just feel the need to control you and get you through this. You said it wasn't my business before, and I know that. But, god this is going to sound so lame."

Her face tilted up, suspension and interest stitched into every detail of her face. "What?"

"I've, always…" Her face blushed, a fine rose blooming at the scenes. It did sound like a confession. "I've wanted to be your friend for a long time…" She hides her disappointment well, but I doubt she really liked me in other ways though, not with her behavior towards me. I decided to look past her changing expressions.

"Really? Why?" The way she caved into herself told me she was off thinking negative thoughts again.

"Erm…" Scratching my nest of golden hair, my face must've looked so vulnerable and uncomfortable. When was the last time I said so much about myself. Like _deep_ stuff? "Well.. You always do the right things, and you love doing what you do… And it's just… Very admirable. And how you stick up for your friends, and you're not afraid to fight… I really wanted to befriend someone like that, someone as respectable as you." The fact that I had subconsciously thought so highly of my quiet classmate surprised even me, I felt like a little school boy trying to impress a girl. When I glanced up to see her expression, it was… Not at all what I expected.

Her eyes stared at my hands, but I knew she wasn't really seeing them, or me. It was bland, watery look she had in her pooling eyes. Looking defeated and lost, I snapped my fingers trying to get her attention again. "Marinette?" But she simply just moved in emotionless actions to get up from the tiled ground. Her knees were red and imprints of the square tiles looked like they branded her. As if the pain in her eyes were from them but I knew she felt nothing of the sort. When she was reaching for the door's lock, I put a hand on her uninjured shoulder. "Mar."

Marinette looked like she had just realized I was there, and gave me a cold smirk with squinted eyes of betrayal. "I'm sorry, I don't want to be your friend." With a quick shove, she stumbled from the bathroom after unlocking it. I was hot on her heels, feet working faster than my mind.

"Wha-What? Can I ask why ever not?"

"Sure." She turned abruptly, just as the bell rang and halls threatened to overflow. "Because I'm not who you think I am, I'm not the friend you need." She took a step towards me, regarding me with what looked like sympathy. "I pray it'll get better for you, Adrien."

Heat wrapped around my head as she spun on her heel, ignoring her friends whom spotted her and then followed like she was their mother duck. Pity, she had pity me. She had disowned me. And she made me look like I was fool.

Blonde hair, much like my own but obviously dyed dripped over one of my shoulders.

"Adrien! You're skipping classes once again." Chloe Bourgeois chimed in. I ignored how her force voice made my ears ring slightly, like someone had pressed a dog whistle to my face. I ignored how she draped herself over me. Infact, I'm pretty sure she was talking but I wasn't listening. I was too busy sliding my face into a grin and erupting into uneven laughter. Chloe, horrified of my unattractive laugh slid over to face me, not my back. "Good heavens, what's wrong with you?"

"She-She, has no idea." I said between laughs, my stomach cramping and felt like it was bleeding as I caved in on bruises that hadn't healed completely yet. Some reminding me vaguely of the terrifying sight I witnessed Ladybug in. But then, all my mind was full of Marinette who strode down the hall with her head held high. She could've been an actress. My laughing turned into howling, I put my head in between my knees as I keened forward, fully aware of the circle of students surrounding me along with the nurse who watched in timid horror. If she thought I was a fool. I was. But she had no idea how big of a fool I actually am. I wiped a tear from my eyes, and looked up to see she had left my eyesight a long time ago. But it wasn't for long. No, she was going to be my friend. Like a spoiled child that I am, I wasn't going to let her slip through, and I was certainly not going to leave her in her pain alone.

Bring it on Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

….

"What the hell happened?" Nate grabbed my shoulder, turning me towards him. Right now, I wasn't in the mood.

"Nothing." I snapped, despite him not deserving half the shit I gave him. Alya gaped at my tone and after receiving one look at Nate, she stopped with her hands innocently held up, giving us the time to talk.

"Bull shit. Why won't you talk to me?" Nate pulled me outside the front doors and in between two tall pillars that lifted the front structure and entrance of our school. He blocked my paths from running away from my problems, once again.

"Because I don't want to talk, Nathan!" I pleaded. This place was too small, it felt like it was caving around me.

"And I'm asking why!" Nate tried again, his grip sliding from my shoulders to grip my hands. I ignored the burning pain the slowly spread from the contact, and in some ways I was grateful that kept me in reality. "That's it. You're not leaving my side. Let's go. You're going to talk whether you like it or not." He pulled my hand which I immediately snatched away. Trying to add affection to it, he gave me a sympathetic and worried look which was opposite from the look his eyes seemed to give. "Please. Let me help you, Mari."

Did he think I was some kind of dog that would follow him around, obeying his every need and want? Angered snared around me like coils, Adrien partly to blame. Last thing I needed was another thing to tie me down, another Hawk Moth and another reason to hate myself. "Nate, I really don't want to re-live everything just to inform you! I know you're my boyfriend but you said you would give me space!" Of course that was out of context from one of our movie dates ended with me on my back and his hand up my shirt. I'm not some prude but really, not a great time. And I think every girl can agree that there is a time, place, and mood.

Nate can be summed up to be a perfect boyfriend only in some aspects. And granted, giving him the benefit of the doubt, I definitely didn't make it easy. Nate would want to know how I was but never pushed it, but then he got tired of it, tired of not being center of attention, and how he couldn't perform the acts a boyfriend does. Whenever I couldn't make it to a date, lost in my mind or fulfilling the usual evil-overlord tasks, he was angry but had always blew it off. I once thought his endearing concern of where I was at all times when he couldn't reach me or wanting to pick me up and drop me off everytime was flattering, but that was when I feared rejection. Of losing someone else that kept me, well, me. But now I saw how he kept track of me when he could, like he was going to find whatever was keeping me away in alternative ways. And I was tired. Tired of it all. Keeping up with him, trying to deal with him when I couldn't deal with myself. The girl he saw was his world, his duty to protect and claim her as his.

But that's not it is it. He saw what Adrien saw. And that wasn't me. I wasn't the Marinette he fell in love with. I would continue to blow him off, to anger him, to make him so over protective he would probably tie me down. I was so self conscious of being alone, but I have been the entire time, not even he could penetrate my steel wall I enclosed myself in, something I did after Tikki was… Yeah. I couldn't let it happen again. And he's right. I am evil, disgusting, a waste of oxygen. No matter how much I tried to deny myself that those actions performed by Ladybug weren't mine, they were and I hated them as much as anyone else in the world. I said the words that have been on my lips since the day Tikki left me. No more than a whisper did they come out frantic, confused and just hollow. "I can't do this."

He rolled his eyes. The douche. "Yes, you can. Just tell me slowly if that makes it better. I'm tired of always worrying about you, Marinette. Just, I want you to let it go, come back to me.." I always noticed how he could make the perfect puppy dog eyes.

"I don't want to come back to you." My eyes flickered to his, a nice wall of tears caging my own, I could even feel it threaten to overflow from the sudden action. Blast it, I really didn't want to cry. I didn't feel like crying, but he at least deserved my tears, my last affection. Oh god, was I so tired of caring.

"What do you mean?" My hand burned, profusely. He's gripping tighter.

"I can't do this." I repeated.

"I said-"

"No, I know what you said. I don't mean that I can't talk, Nathan. I mean I can't be with you." Have you ever experienced those times where everything is so loud, you can feel your voice escape your mouth but not hear it? Like at concerts or right next to a raging waterfall and you can only pray you said it right or it wasn't a weird sound? Yes. That's what was happening right now. "Nate. I'm sorry, you deserve better and… I just can't do it anymore."

Nate whisked his hand away, turning as he raked his hands through his once tamed red hair. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." It was best.

"...Is your life that fucked up you need to break this," He waved, motioning us I guess. "Off?"

"Quite." My attitude was heartless, but it would help rip this band aid right off. He tapped his chin before turning again, facing me.

"...Is it me?"

"... I need to figure out my feelings, Nate."

"Is it Adrien?" His voice trembled slightly. Where the hell did this come from? Rage started pumping in my blood once more remembering my time spent in the bathroom with him… Oh yeah, well I did just spend my time in the bathroom with him.

Shaking my head, I looked into his eyes once more. I wondered how much he'd hate me, I could see it now. "No, I don't even like him as a friend." Not like anyone would be willing to stay my side as well, but I kept that silent.

"So, you want to take a break?" He offered with pleading eyes. But if we did, we'd get together and it would be the same cycle, same pain and rejection.

"No." Strange. I couldn't feel anything in my toes and fingers.

"... After everything, you're selfishly breaking it off?" He scowled, unable to hide his disappointment.

That irked me. I pointed my chin up towards him, cursing my height as it came a disadvantage but I vowed to make myself as intimidating as possible despite probably only coming off as a yappy chihuahua. "I could say the same to you, after everything you're going to selfishly put me in a relationship I'm unhappy with?" if he wanted to spar, let's spar.

That took him off guard, a low blow in my opinion. "You were unhappy?" Guilt, sadness dripped from the cracks of his voice.

"Are you kidding me?" Despite myself, I laughed, another low blow to him.

"Sorry I couldn't make you happy enough to stay." He spat. "I was tired of your depression anyways."

And then he turned, and walked away. Back into school. Acting like nothing happened. I wanted to move, my god did I put my very soul into moving at least one foot but they didn't budge. I felt like a weight was lifted despite my pinned state, like I didn't have to go the extra mile to help him, to please him. I was finally detangling myself from all of this. And it was exactly what Hawk Moth wanted. For the first time in a long time did I finally take a deep breath and it didn't hurt. This felt normal, it felt like progress to a new life, and my god was I tired of living a life of lies.

Pretending I wasn't like Hawk Moth.

Sharing a similar "past" as Adrien.

Trying to still be the girl Tikki loves and that Nate fell in love with.

They were all filthy lies.

...

Longer chapter.. Right? Okay, yes. Shit is hitting the fan. Hopefully it's getting more interesting and you guys like it. Sorry, I kind of felt like the romance was especially rushed in Hate and Love, like too much for the story line to be... As realistic and genuine as possible. And I want to ease in on it, but I am dying to do some badass Ladybug and Chat scenes soon. I'm fangirling over my own fanfic. Is that conceitedness or? Well, I don't particularly care. I'm happy with how this is turning out and that I'm improving my writing in the process. Thanks for reading and I'm hoping that I'm getting the hang of this whole fanfic thing. XOXO.


End file.
